I have often said my life revolves around the movies. I quote them, I live them and I adore them. We all play the role of the heroine, the hero, and walk a mile in the shoes of the actors on screen. I guess that is what makes us escape to the theater.

I often use movie quotes in my comments when reading other blogs. Apropos of the “My Fair Lady” post where I stirred the proverbial pot. I have quoted most recently only children’s animated cartoons, because I have only seen those movies about a cajillion times since my kids began to watch them. We recently bought “Brother Bear” so expect some one-liners from that one as well. God I love the Mackenzie Brothers.

I have often associated myself to certain situations within movies and find myself reacting in the same way. The actor I most associate with is Michael Keaton. I was a senior in high school when he first stepped into the limelight with “Nightshift” with Henry Winkler and Mr. Keaton as Billy Blazejowski. I knew he was the real deal when I saw him in Mr. Mom. To this day, I catch myself pulling the “Old Aunt Emily”. My diaper scene with the yellow gloves the protective glasses and the apron came from that movie. His humor is the epitome of Genuine humor. The sarcasm, the quick-witted response, and the look, you know the one, the eyebrow look.

If you had to have a movie person, play you in a movie, who would it be? Marilyn Monroe? Dustin Hoffman? Would it be about your looks or about your personality? Does your life emulate a movie already made? God, I love movies. I have probably seen the movie you reference. Want to make a bet? Okay, you know the last movie I saw in a movie theater was “Armageddon”, so be nice.

Just to get it started:

Jack Butler: “I yelled at Kenny for coloring outside the lines! Megan and I are starting to watch the same TV shows. I’m liking them. I’m losing it!”

*Trying to get Kenny to give up his security blanket.*
Jack Butler: “I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they’re great… and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn’t enough. You’re out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you’re strung out on bedspreads Ken. That’s serious.”

Tell me, who plays you, and why?

I commented today at The Mommy Blog that I would give women equal time and do a little male bashing. Let me be the first to apologize. Telling everyone how horrible men can be in business or other parts of life is just too damn easy. You know, and I know, so why give it credit by discussing it? Heck, if you really want to do some male bashing, fire away in the comments. We men can always use a little humbling; of course there are only three or four men that might hear your roar.

What I really want to say is something that has been evident from the very start of my journey into blogdom. I love people. I love the differences in people, the showing of friendship and the all around goodness of people.

I posted earlier about why women can’t be more like men. In case you were wondering, I was being as sarcastic as I have ever been. What you say? Genuine, being sarcastic? I love that women are not like men.

I had some extra time this evening to contemplate my first 30 days of my experience here in this forum. I never knew anything about blogs or for that matter had never been in a chat room or wanted to have anything to do with my computer. Heck that was for people without a life that sat around all day pushing the send receive button on their email program hoping to be stimulated (Yes Michele, I had to use it. We are pathetic but I just wanted to admit it to the world.) In fact I have never been a writer and my writing experience has been limited to pissing off lawyers or writing to pissed off lawyers. I guess I was born for satire.

What I have learned is there is a great cross-section of people I have met and people that have touched me in some manner. I have to start with my blogroll. As you can see there is somewhat of theme that has transpired, but there are some spices added to the soup as well. Take the time to visit these people. Each have a story that may touch you and reach out to you. (Its easy to wash up after). They obviously have made an impression with me.

I have read stories of everyday life and what makes up the very fabric of our being. I have been touched by stories of heartbreak, happiness, and a gambit of emotions that are obviously too numerous to describe. I have heard of politics, family, schooling, medicine, employment, death and taxes, and birth and good fortune. I have read of fertility and infertility, divorce, marriage, marital bliss and marital discord. I have watched as frienships have developed and I have cheered when others find a new friend.

I have read comments to posts that have shocked me, cracked me up, and made me cry, I have been angered and my heart has broken. Yes some of us guys do cry. I have held my tongue on a number of occasions, and I have probably commented where I should have refrained. I have joked, teased, and even hugged in a non-touching kind of a cyber no touchy feely way.

The human spirit amazes me and the way people can be with one another. I guess what I am really trying to say is……………

You all are a bunch of fucking really weird wackos and I love every one of ya.

A toy bomb went off in the Genuine household last evening. No one was hurt in the blast, although Genuine Dad did step on something sharp that could get infected. The suspects were apprehended shortly before dawn and confessions were signed in front of authorities. The two suspects acted alone in their endeavor, and they will be performing community service while on probation. Here are some of the pictures of the devastation caused by the two toy terrorists. Please be forwarned some of you may feel these to be too graphic and not suitable for other children.

Bomb 1

Bomb 2

Authorities have now dropped the toy terror alert to Yellow, and all should be safe until bath night.

Apparently, I have confused a lot of readers thinking that I have been sitting in Betty Ford’s Clinic sucking my thumb in the fetal position. Actually, it was at my own home.

Seriously, Last week was a tough week. I have been working especially hard hours and incurring a lot of stress during that period. Some things at work happened that caused me to reevaluate to regroup and to recharge. I took 3 days off last week, and tried to meditate my way in to an answer as to why the heck I was feeling like the doormat of the world. I should have seen it coming given my bouts with insomnia, and my lack of fresh air and sunshine. I guess all I really needed was a hug, and the words of a little girl. Heck, now I can move mountains…or at least sweep the kitchen floor. The “S” on Daddy’s chest need to be repainted. Even Daddy’s have their krytonite.

I have always liked the movie “My Fair Lady”. I was thinking of this song the other day when dealing with a woman in an industry not really related to mine. If you don’t know the song, it is sung by Professor Higgins (Rex Harrison) to Pickering in his house, and it is called a Hymn to Him. Since most of the readers of my blog here are women, my intent is not to offend but to merely throw out the same question. “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?”

We all know it as the “old boys network”. Its been referred to in harassment suits and in wrongful discharge cases. Women “hit the glass ceiling” and all other forms of clichés that are heard about men and women in industry. I actually have seen them first hand.

As a side note, and on the opposite side of the coin, I work in an office where I am the only staff person that is a man. I work with around 15 – 20 women. Let’s just say I tend to hold my tongue quite often and I usually end up in conversations where I have no idea what is being talked about. It’s like having 20 sisters. The reason for the post is not to discuss my coworkers, all of them are great, and they just usually look at me with this look of “bless his heart he is doing the best he can.” I really try my best to be the perfect lady.

Now to the question at bar. “Does a woman feel that she has to be a raving lunatic bitch to feel as though she is being taken seriously?”

I have always been a believer in fielding the best team, whether it is a man or woman, and my team is without any color. They are wearing the same team colors no matter the nationality. Now I know I’m talking in Utopian terms, but why is it that some women, (I certainly don’t want to generalize) feel the need to manage by terror rather than by leadership? I’m not syaing she attacks only men. In fact, I have seen her tear down a woman in front of other women. Perhaps this is not a topic that can be discussed as rational adults.

I spoke to her partner, a man, and in about three sentences the transaction had been taken care of and each party walked away with exactly what the other wanted. I had started with the exact same sentence, word for word. Perhaps she was having a bad day, and somebody needs to send her some chocolate, but of course that would be condescending. Could somebody please tell me what the rules are? Can somebody look at my ass to see if I have any of it left?

I’m proud to say after 5 full days of rehabilitation, I am able to face reality with without fear. Of course I feel at this moment like the men standing on the wall of the Alamo, but everyone’s reality is different. I’m not going down without a fight….okay maybe a whimper.

Sometimes when life has you down and your feeling low, it only takes a small thing to get you to come out of the darkness and see the light. My daughter helped me out of the darkness today. She accomplished this in 4 words as she looked sheepishly into my eyes:

“I love you Daddy”

Life does have purpose! Nothing else really matters more. I am sure with that one phrase from a little girl, most of those that feel depressed or under the weather, would snap out of it. Tell someone you love them today. It may be all they need.

God bless that little girl.

Wide awake and HEARTBURN! Honey…….let’s skip the pizza for a while.

It was a proud poop. A poop you can call a top 10 in every pooping category. If my son was here during one of our potty training sessions, it would be the text book poop. Looking to my left I gaze at the TP holder in horror! Yes…. 2 squares, the worse thing that could possibly happen to a perfect poop. That’s okay, I’ll get a replacement…I will salvage this. No replacements. Crap! The 2 squares will have to hold until reinforcements arrive.

Now I know that my daughter is only 4 and she does not know the problems with not having the proper paperwork to complete the project. She of course, was not the last one in the sand box this day. Genuine Boy we all know does not yet use said potty. My question is honey…leaving two squares? You had just enough to get the job done and didn’t want to over do it?

I can’t spare a square. I don’t have a square to spare.” – (either) Jane or Elaine

I have done a lot of soul searching and I have come up with perfect job. The job that I can be proud knowing I am the best of the best at performing my duties. A job I can handle with unparalleled enthusiasm. Ladies and Gentleman I present to you my new job.

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Deck holder downer.