Here this whole time I thought our kids were all conceived as a result of drinking too much and partying too much while having sex with my wife! Come to find out, she was eating too much ice cream? This probably comes as good news to all of you having fertility problems! Something tells me the store down the street from the fertility clinic better order some more Cookie Dough and Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream from their vendor!
Tags: Sex, Fertility, Conception, Ice Cream
For those of you thinking that for some strange reason I would be washing cloth diapers, you can put that rumor to bed and eliminate the myth. I am not the guy to be washing those diapers that I can’t put into a plastic bag and wave goodbye to forever (yes I know they will last longer than I will). That is until today.
Today I thought I would make sure to stay on top of the laundry. In a family of 6 with four children 7 and under, this is a feat that is likened to climbing Mt. Everest. The mountains are similar. I had began a small pile of clothes in the hallway outside the laundry room, and being it was trash day, I went around from room to room gathering trash cans and in my zealousness to do right be trash day, I was also picking up random laundry laying on the floor. Random laundry is a common theme in our home. I added to the pile outside the laundry room and when it looked like I had a complete load, I picked the whole pile up and shoved it into the front loading washer, a high capacity washer for high capacity families.
What I failed to note while I was patting myself on the back for doing the laundry without being asked, or without the need to find at least one pair of clean underwear in the house, was the dirty diaper in the pile that was placed there I’m sure by a well meaning baby or toddler. Disposable diapers in case you have not guessed, are not very good candidates for washing in a high capacity wash machine. The machine does a great job in cleaning our clothes, but it also does a great job of destroying the disposable diaper, depositing the science fiction type stuff in a diaper all over the washer and throughout the clothes. Yes, the diaper at some point had met its capacity and broke open showering the rest of what were clean clothes with a nasty boogery looking and feeling substance. At this point it’s irrelevant what was in the diaper to begin with, but it was what was IN the diaper that is now a nightmare. I’ve washed the same load now twice and the snot looking substance has yet to disappear into what I’m sure is ruining the inside of our washer. It just goes to show, the best laid plans or the road to hell is paved with good intentions or some such thing. Honey, you know that new top you were so proud of that made you look cute and skinny? Ummmmm…where did you buy that?
Where has Genuine been? Is he okay? What is he up to these days? We are missing him! These are a few of the emails I have received and people that have send instant messages to me. I have been kind of busy these days with real life, but I have also been doing a little traveling. Okay, so it was just a weekend type of jaunt, but it was still traveling. Here is a picture of me as I stand on the 18th Hole of the Melrose golf course on Daufuskie Island in South Carolina. We went down for a wedding and I couldn’t stay off the golf course.
We spent the day on the beach and also traveled around the island and visited Bloody Point, a golf course there, and saw some huge houses on the beach. Mrs. G found some whole sand dollars and was very excited about it, while we watched the dolphins frolicked around us. We were child free for the three days we traveled and it was just like old times. Well it was me feeling old anyway. We will be returning to our normal life now that the fun is over!
Tags: Genuine, Travel, Melrose, Daufuskie Island Resort, Golf, Bloody Point, South Carolina, Vacation, Beach
I’m fairly certain that this will eliminate any thoughts about a run for the White House for these people. I think the two on the right are Eddie Izzard throwbacks! I’m such a proud father.
My best blogging buddy Jay over at The Zero Boss get’s my props today! It just goes to show that us conservative types can appreciate a good one liner although I am going to steal the entire post because it’s that good:
Um…have we all forgotten what happened the last time we let this man interpret intelligence data? Forget the Federal Marriage Amendment – there oughtta be an amendment specifying that, before starting a new war, the Commander in Chief should finish the previous one. You know, kind of like not being able to eat your pudding until you’ve eaten all your meat.
I am thinking of selling T-shirts here at the National Democratic Convention in Denver, and the title of this post will be on the front with Jay’s quip on the back. I could make a fortune. I will split it evenly with you jay 70-30! Hey, like I said I’m a republican.
My friend Stephan over at Business Blog Consulting, a site where I contribute, points us to a new set of motivational posters. I liked the sound of this one myself:
I’m pretty sure I would have gotten laid far more times than I did and spent a heck of a lot less money! There are other great ones on Blogging, and the one about Terrel Owens still has me giggling.
When drinking coffee, make sure you have fresh unground coffee beans that are stored in the refrigerator to keep its freshness. You require a good coffee maker that will brew quickly but not too quickly that the freshly ground coffee does not lose its flavor. Grind the coffee and put it in the maker. When brewing, make sure your coffee maker is of the type that can be pulled from its burner and discontinues brewing for you to pour, otherwise you will require quickness of hand and eye to coordinate the "pull and switch". This is important because that first cup that touches those freshly ground beans is often the most rewarding. It carries with it the sweetest of the nectar of the coffee bean. It is also usually the strongest cup. If you follow these steps, by noon you be shaky and buzzing in no time! Of course, from coffee grinder to pouring over bowl of ice cream as topping in the morning works too.
Perhaps the message is getting out and my cover has been blown, but the guy in this article seems to be really smart. Yeah the guy in the last paragraph. This is what happens when you are at home to answer the phone. Now if they want me to show up in the suit I am going to have to draw the line. Look Mom….the Wall Street Journal!
Okay that was my 15 minutes…who is next?
Genuine Boy: Daddy what does drinking sponsibly mean?
Genuine: Drinking responsibly?
Genuine Boy: Yeah.
Genuine: Where did you hear that?
Genuine Boy: TV.
Genuine: Oh. It means like making sure you don’t spill and making sure you drink your juice in the kitchen.
Genuine Boy: Oh I drink like that.
