A couple of years ago, we had neighbors move in next door that were excited to be living in a neighborhood with other children. In fact, part of the reason they decided to move into that house was because they had learned that we had two children the same age as their children. The oldest, Ben, a month older than Genuine Girl, and Madeline, a little angel only a month younger than Genuine Boy. From the moment they moved in, our children were inseparable. They did everything together that first summer. If we ever wanted to know where our children were, we could call next door and there they were playing or eating lunch with their two new best friends. The same went for Ben and Madeline, they always were a part of our family whenever they were around. What are two more children in a flock like ours? We traded babysitting often so that each set of parents could have a date night. In fact it was on one of those date nights we had when Genuine Baby was conceived.
In August of 2005, our new found friends and family changed. Ben was diagnosed with a diffuse pontine glioma which in layman’s terms is a brain tumor. My wife and I wept for not only the news of a little boy having to have such an illness, but also the prognosis that there was nothing modern medicine could do for this little boy we had welcomed into our hearts and home. We didn’t tell our children about Ben’s illness other than Ben was sick and the doctors were trying to make him feel better. 
The doctors tried everything available to them but they could only prolong his life and make it last a little longer with a little more quality. We cherished every moment when he was with us, and we encouraged our kids to play with Ben whenever we could. We even had the unbirthday party for him on Saint Patrick’s Day at Chuck E. Cheese. My wife and I questioned our faith as to how a small angel with blue eyes and a golden heart could be so unfortunate. How could this be happening to him? We wept again as we made our way home from the pizza party. That next evening, Genuine Boy spent the night at Ben’s house, Madeline at our house, it was an everyday occurrence and nothing out of the ordinary.
Ben passed away this morning while he slept between his Mommy and Daddy. I’m struggling with my sadness, and I feel a part of me has died with him. He has left an indelible mark on me and my family, and my children will dearly miss him. I’m very happy that Genuine Boy and Ben had one last sleepover together. It will be hard to accept his passing, and for a while we will grieve with his family. My prayers are with a little boy today. You can read his story on the Steadman family blog.
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Hula Doula Says:
My heart just breaks for their family. I know this is a difficult time. So so sorry.
I am attempting to leave a trackback on my blog to this post. Here goes trying!
mrs. diamond Says:
This makes me want to cry. My own little boy’s name is Ben. My entire world would end if anything happened to him. I can’t imagine how his parents and family are struggling to come to terms with this.
I pray for them and for you and for your children.
*tears*
Busy Mom Says:
I am so very sorry.
Liz Says:
I am very sorry for your friend’s loss and your pain — and will be praying for all of you, while hugging my children extra tight, tonight.
Anne-Marie Says:
Thanks, Jim, for writing this. I’m on the board of directors at Ben’s school. There is a document there that may help you and your family deal with this situation and how to explain death to your children.
You can find it on the Carbon Valley Academy website at http://www.carbonvalleyacademy.org/Files/HelpingHands.pdf or http://www.carbonvalleyacademy.org/Files/HelpingHands.doc.
honestyrain Says:
i am so deeply sorry for the family’s loss but also for the loss your own family will experience without ben. i am in tears after reading your post. i am so very glad he was laying between his mommy and daddy. you don’t know how glad that i am for that.
Dawn Says:
How terribly tragic that such an angel has been taken so early. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and yours.
Dawn
Wendi Says:
I am so sorry for this family and all his friends! My thoughts and prayers go out to all of them and you all!
princessr9 Says:
My heart just breaks for all of you. I’ll keep your family and Ben’s family in my prayers.
Old Horsetail Snake Says:
Aw, Jim, I don’t want any part of this. So sad.
Randi Says:
Oh my god…I’m sitting here bawling and my husband wondered what’s wrong, when I told him, instead of him thinking I was stupid for crying, he almost cried too. I didn’t know this boy, I never read the blog before today, and yet I find myself crying for their loss and for yours. I am so sorry this had to happen to what looked to be a wonderful family and a wonderful little boy. It does make you question why these things happen, and it also makes me want to spend every day with my children like it’s the last.
Shelli Says:
I am so sorry. May God be with Ben’s family and you and your children as you grieve the loss of what was clearly a special little boy.
kristarella Says:
Oh my. I’ve shed a few tears over this boy that I’ve never met. It sounds like his last couple of years of life were really happy, he was a part of two beautiful families. I’m sure that through all these prayers and God’s grace, he will keep Ben’s spirit safe until these end for all of us.
Judy Says:
Wow.
Remember – it isn’t what God can do for you but what he can do THROUGH you.
Peace for you and and the Steadmans.
raineth Says:
It’s so sad, how something so bright and beautiful can be gone so suddenly.
Little Ben, a shooting star that trailed across the Heavens, touching the hearts of those who knew him… and those who didn’t.
I am so very sorry for your loss, and ache for both of your families.
atpanda Says:
Oh that is too sad… I can’t imagine how hard this is going to be to explain to your children.
Thumper Says:
Oh man. I am so, so sorry…
meeta Says:
I am so sorry that this has happened. I remember when you told me about Ben’s situation and I hoped and prayed that he would get better. I know that for you this is like losing one of your own sons. My thoughts and prayers go not only to the Steadmans but also to you and Michelle to get through this difficult time.
Lisa Says:
My prayers are with you and your family and Ben’s family. I hate hearing stories like this. And I hear them often. I’m involved with the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation and Ride for Kids, and they are raising money as quickly as possible so no other families have to ever tell a story like this one! Each story touches your heart, especially when you have kids of your own, it really does emphasize how unfair life is.
Michael Says:
I am so sorry to hear this sad news. Please know that Ben’s family and freinds will be in my prayers.
Donna Says:
My heart goes out to Ben’s family — and those he touched. We lost a child at our school to a sudden illness a couple of weeks ago, and I am still questioning how something like this can happen. There is nothing sadder.
Lucky Says:
My son, also named Ben, is due to be born on Monday. I’m going to knock off work early and go home to hold my other kids…
chrys Says:
I know Ben’s glad his family has you to lean on through these coming sad days. The more friends available (not intruding) – just available – the softer the blow may be. God knows Ben.
annie Says:
I know only too well what Ben’s family is going through. I lost my son to a brain tumor December 13, 2005. It is something that has changed me forever.
Tell them that I can’t say things will ever be normal again. But, it does become easier to remember and talk about your son without breaking down. I don’t think you ever will ‘get over it’. My belief is that you weave this grief into your life and you learn to live with it. I started a journal, and it really helped me unravel my feelings. I’m still unraveling….
peace…
annie
BlogU
http://bloggeruniversity.blogspot.com/
Desert Odyssey Says:
Life Lesson…
I was hesitant to post a link to this story because I try to be relatively upbeat on here. But I couldn’t let this go by……
Lala Says:
Dear G Family and Steadman Family. I can barely fathom the sadness you’re experiencing. My heart goes out to all of you. It’s hard to do with young children but I hope you can keep Ben alive in their hearts and talk about him openly. Take care.
Shalini Says:
Hi.. just saw your site off the blogfathers.. and saw about Ben… this is what it means when “bad things happen to good people”… oh I have tears streaming down my face and I don’t know this little boy. I hope and pray that their family will be able to get through this. I just had a little girl in August, and I can’t imagine the pain that they are going through. Please know that I also grieve for this little guy. He is going to be sorely missed by so many people. I will be thinking of the Steadmans and y’all on April 4th.
Jeanne Says:
I’m so sorry for the family my heart breaks with there’s. My prayers are that they find peace and comfort in this time of need.
Jazzy Says:
That breaks my heart. Hold tight to your faith. God has a plan for everyone and I have to tell myself that God needed Ben up in Heaven to be an Angel for Him more than He needed Ben down here.
Nancy Christine Genova-Lahaie Says:
I am praying for you, for strength at this difficult time. I cannot imagine your pain. I want you to remember that Ben will always be with you, and that with his love, you will find the strength, and someday, understanding to why this happened.
Please take care, and know that there are people out there that hurt for you, and care about you.
Nancy
KathyHowe Says:
I’m crying for you, your family and Ben’s family. So sad. You are all in my thoughts.
Genuine » He Cries Because He Cares Says:
[...] he may have been hurt, and he was but not physically. He had a spell where he remembered his friend Ben next door that died. I sat with him while he cried it out and while he explained why his heart was [...]
Sputtygop Says:
Two new studies show why some people are more attractive for members of the opposite sex than others.
The University of Florida, Florida State University found that physically attractive people almost instantly attract the attention of the interlocutor, sobesednitsy with them, literally, it is difficult to make eye. This conclusion was reached by a series of psychological experiments, which were determined by the people who believe in sending the first seconds after the acquaintance. Here, a curious feature: single, unmarried experimental preferred to look at the guys, beauty opposite sex, and family, people most often by representatives of their sex.
The authors believe that this feature developed a behavior as a result of the evolution: a man trying to find a decent pair to acquire offspring. If this is resolved, he wondered potential rivals. Detailed information about this magazine will be published Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
In turn, a joint study of the Rockefeller University, Rockefeller University and Duke University, Duke University in North Carolina revealed that women are perceived differently by men smell. During experiments studied the perception of women one of the ingredients of male pheromone-androstenona smell, which is contained in urine or sweat.
The results were startling: women are part of this repugnant odor, and the other part is very attractive, resembling the smell of vanilla, and the third group have not felt any smell. The authors argue that the reason is that the differences in the receptor responsible for the olfactory system, from different people are different.
It has long been proven that mammals (including human) odor is one way of attracting the attention of representatives of the opposite sex. A detailed article about the journal Nature will publish.