When I was 7 years old, I awoke on a fateful morning to learn that my Grandfather and Uncle who was only 11 years old at the time had been killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. I can remember my mother and two uncles sitting at the kitchen table all of them in tears. On that morning I learned the hardship of death. My Uncle was more like a brother than an Uncle because we were always together. He was my hero and mentor and the one I looked up to in everything. In a flash he was gone.
The thought of death was not what scared me that day. The part that put the most fear in me was being alone, not having him with me anymore. Who would I ride bikes with, and who would show me how to climb trees and throw rocks? Not being able to see him again was a tough and bitter pill to swallow. To me he was the only person in the world.
Last night as we explained to our children that their best friend had passed away, they broke out in tears sobbing at the thought of losing a friend. The feelings I had 35 years ago came rushing back to me and I think I know now why I have felt nauseous the past two days. I was grieving all over again and my body was telling me to cope.
My daughter wept and asked many questions, but my son went off to play with a toy or two choosing to deny what he had been told. It will be a tough Spring and Summer without Ben to be with us, but I think that as time goes on, we all will be able to better cope.
I wanted to thank all of you for your prayers and well wishes over the last few days, and I know that the Steadman family is most appreciative of the comments and thoughts left on their blog. On Tuesday we will help the family celebrate Ben’s life.
I am going to help the family purchase a plaque with Ben’s name to put in the Memorial Garden at the Anschutz Cancer Center. You can help with that too. For every comment I get from you today on this post, I will donate one dollar to the Steadman’s so that they may buy the plaque in Ben’s honor. Help me get to their goal of $240.00 for the price of the plaque. I’ll show them each of your comments, so take a moment and show your support.
UPDATE: We are half way to our goal people, keep sending all your friends, we will get that plaque yet! Thanks for all of the comments thus far, I have tried to thank each one of you personally. If I could give you all a hug for your effort I would, but know that this is a great showing of support.
UPDATE 04/03/06: I am overwhelmed by the amount of support that has been shown here and I am uplifted by all of the comments. I’ll keep this post here at the top for the rest of the day so that we can reach our goal of 240 comments. I have been asking any of you that have lost a loved one to cancer to comment in their name as well. They can help me reach my goal and you can add to their memory as well. Just tell us you are commenting in their name and they can be a part of this show of support.
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Shalini Says:
Here is my comment… I just came across your blog, please know that we are there with you in spirit.
Cyndy Says:
Your family and their family are in my prayers Genuine. I know how hard this has been for you and your family. God bless you for being the kind of friend and dad that everyone should have.
Mir Says:
I already left the Steadmans a comment over at their place, but I will express my condolences again. I’m still reeling and holding my own kids a little bit tighter.
Bless you, Jim, for being a good friend to them as they get through this.
Pete Says:
Genuine,
Your name says it all. What a great gesture and what a good neighbor you must be.
I’ve been following the heartbreak over the last few days and have shed a tear or two for the family. It’s funny how simply having children ties so many complete strangers together into a community that can grieve together, support each other, and share with each other. There is a definite understanding between parents, and when a child is lost, even a child we only know through words and pictures, the heartbreak is shared by the community. The Steadman family is in my thoughts and prayers today.
–Pete–
Carmi Says:
Your incredibly eloquent tribute to a life lost too soon sends a message to all of us lucky enough to not have been touched by such unspeakable tragedy: cherish what we have, for it can be lost in an instant.
I will pray for you, for Ben, and for the Steadmans. May happiness visit your street, and may the goodness inherent in that little boy somehow find a way to weave itself into the lives of all those he encountered.
You have a wonderful way of sharing your thoughts and feelings.
Empress Says:
I just spent the last hour reading the entire story of Ben and his family over at the Steadman’s site. What a truly touching story about a wonderful little boy. My thoughts are with his family and friends at this time.
Lisa Says:
G,
My prayers continue to stay with you, your family and Ben’s family. Once again you show us all just exactly how wonderful a guy you truly are.
I only hope that no one else has to go through this kind of heartbreak.
Cam Says:
Just showing my support. My prayers are with all of you.
Donna Says:
The Steadmans are fortunate to have such good friends.
My heart goes out to them, and to you and your children. There is nothing sadder than the death of a child.
Hayfever Says:
I’m sorry. Words seem… so inadequate for what your families are going through. My thoughts are with you all.
Christi Says:
What a great idea! You have a kind heart. My thoughts are with you.
FRAN Says:
Sounds like Ben was an amazing child, one who apparently fulfilled his purpose on this earth albeit much too soon for those whose lives he touched
Shelli Says:
To the Steadmans–
God bless you and your beautiful children. It is amazing how many lives that your adorable son, Ben, has touched. He was put here for a reason and I hope it will bring you some comfort in the coming weeks, months and years to know that. I will be thinking of you as you grieve. I am sorry for your loss.
Shelli Says:
To the Genuine family, especially the Genuine children–
I am sorry that you lost a friend whom you cherished deeply. He will always be in your hearts. When you play he will be there with you. You only have to think of him and he will be there. God bless you and I will be thinking of you and praying for you as you grieve.
Randi Says:
I wish I had tons of money I could throw your way to do this for Ben. I wish I was able to find the cure for cancer so no more children should have to suffer…I wish I was able to understand why these types of things happen.
I can do none of these.
Please accept my support and condolences, and my heartfelt wish that I could do more.
WebKittyn Says:
Genuine, you are a good man. My thoughts and condolences and prayers go out to the Steadmans and your family. I can’t imagine anything harder to go through and I’m sorry people have to endure such suffering.
Kelly Says:
His story and LIFE will be with me for the rest of my life.
My thoughts and prayers are with his entire family at this time and forever.
Kelly
SwingSLD Says:
I think this is a wonderful thing you are doing! Its so sad to lose someone close, its happened to me a few to many times. I hope all goes well.
Josh
buzz Says:
You are a good man with a kind heart, Jim. Your words are an inspiration to us all. Bless you and bless the Steadman family. I am so sorry for your loss.
Mamacita Says:
You Genuines are truly ‘genuine’ friends. I know the Steadmans are grateful to know you. I commented on their blog, but I will say it here, too: I am so sorry for thsr loss. And I am so glad you were all privileged to have Ben in your lives, even if it was for so short a time. Bless you all, doubly, triply, with all the good wishes possible. I’ve been where you are now, and it is incomprehensible.
Chrissie Says:
God Bless!
Messedupmama Says:
I don’t have words that can truly express how much this story has touched my heart. How wonderfully lucky your family were to have met this boy and his family, how terribly sad that he had to leave this world so early. I will hug my son a little closer in the coming days. Thank you for sharing this with us, I can only wish that we could take some of the grief from the hearts of all those who knew Ben personally.
Kathy Says:
Been through a lot in my family regarding loss. Thanks.
spyderkl Says:
I’m sorry that this happened. My deepest condolences.
Ryan Says:
I am so sorry for this loss. What a tragic and difficult time for you and your family, and of course for your neighbors. May God’s peace be your guide right now. I know we don’t know you, but if there is anything we can do, please do let us know.
Love from Sactown.
Ahri Says:
Heartfelt post, truely sorry for the loss.
Heather Says:
Genuine,
Last night after reading about the loss of Ben, I stopped catching up on blogs. I kissed my son as tears ran down my cheek. I told him how much I loved him over and over again. We went up for bed and talked for a long time. Thank you for sharing this story.. It reminded me that the little things in life aren’t as important as family.
Matt Power Says:
My heartfelt condolences to you all for the loss of such a precious child. My thoughts are with you.
Brian Says:
My thought and prayers are with the Steadmans. Good things Genuine, good things… Thank you for this.
Take care-
Vini Vidi Vici
buffi Says:
The world is certainly a better place for having young Ben even for the short time he was here. I know that there is an empty, aching place in all of your hearts for him. I cannot imagine the pain that you and Ben’s family must be feeling. Your grief is a testament to his sweet spirit.
I have been keeping the Steadmans and the Genuines in my prayers for the last week. I will continue to remember you and pray for you, that your grief will eventually turn to sweet memories of this precious boy.
Judy Says:
What a sad fact of life to learn so young. My thoughts and prayers are with those touched by that life.
steph Says:
Truly touching post, my prayers are with all those affected. God Bless.
Jennifer Says:
Such a loss. I’m so sorry.
Kel Says:
You are doing an amazing thing here … I am so sorry for your loss.
aka_monty Says:
I’m on my way to the Steadman’s blog right now…I wish I could offer some real comfort to all of you.
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
Cori Says:
I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of this beautiful little boy. His family and your’s will be in my prayers. I’ll be holding my little ones a bit tighter today.
Amber Shiflett Says:
You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Ron Shiflett Says:
I am praying for you all!
Christian Shiflett Says:
I’m sorry you all had such a loss..I will be praying for you!
Camden Shiflett age 4 Says:
I’m sorry, I will say a prayer for you all. Hope you reach your goal….
Collin Shiflett (age 18mths) Says:
Praying for you all…….And hoping you reach your goal.
Em Says:
Please accept my condolences for the loss of your friend. Your and his family will be in my prayers.
craziequeen Says:
I came here from Cyndy’s blog.
My sympathies to you and your family, and condolences to Ben’s family.
No star ever shines as bright as a new one.
Love to all
cq
Scott Goldblatt Says:
This is…
Scott Goldblatt Says:
worth…
Scott Goldblatt Says:
three dollars.
Madley Says:
What a kind friend and neighbor you are, and thank you for sharing your own story… wishing you much peace during this time.
Radioactive Jam Says:
Hi,
You are most kind. I hope and pray both your families are able to draw strength and good from these trials.
–Bill
Shivani (age 8 months) Says:
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We hope that you reach the goal! Hugs!
Wendy Wings Says:
April 1st is the day I lost my own mother to cancer so it is fitting that I should leave this comment today.
Ben sounds like he was an amazing child with a family that was blessed to have him sadly not for a long time but in that brief time he touched many.
Thank you for doing this for them you are a good friend and neighbour.
sage Says:
A wonderful tribute about a touching event. My prayers to his family and to yours at this difficult time in life.
kenju Says:
I am so sorry to hear of that child’s passing, and I hope that your children will be able to come to terms wtih their loss.
d.challener roe Says:
I have no words to add.
This is very touching.
Jugglernaut Says:
I’m so sorry to hear this sad, sad news. I’m here via Mamacita’s blog and just wanted to add my sympathy.
Beverly Says:
Such a terrible thing. My husband died in an accident four years ago. So sorry for your friends and for your children as they try to understand the loss. Sometimes there is no understanding.
I’ll be back to read more of your blog.
the reflective teacher Says:
This is such a tragedy for the Steadmans. I’m so sorry for their loss.
You’re a wonderful person in giving what you can to them.
Swan Says:
This is the first time I’ve cried since I was a little boy. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling, but I cannot help but try to put myself in your shoes. I just know that if it were my son, I would be somewhat comforted by imagining him enjoying the good times we had, and remembering the little things I did for him.
I am imagining Ben thanking you, the Steadmans, for being such a wonderful family for him, and you, the Genuines, for being such wonderful freinds to him while he was here. Those are, after all, the best things in life.
Mary Says:
My thoughts go out to your family and the Steadman family. I’m glad you have each other during this time.
The plaque sounds like a beautiful way to celebrate and commemorate Ben’s life. Take care.
Karie Says:
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of such a wonderful life and so soon. You, your family and the Stedman’s are in my prayers. May they find comfort in knowing they are being lifted up in prayer and may the angels of God wrap their loving arms around them to support them in the days to come.
Redneckmommy Says:
As a parent who recently suffered the loss of my five year old, I can tell you what you are doing is amazing and will go a long way in helping the Stedman’s through their grief. I hope you all find comfort in Ben’s plaque. God Bless.
Helene Says:
My heart is heavy just reading this post…Sending warm thoughts and hugs to both your family and the Steadmans.
Radioactive Jam : Special Request Says:
[...] If you’re reading this on April 1st, please click through to this post (on GenuineBlog) and leave a comment there. You’ll understand more after reading, but here’s the short version. The GenuineBlog family lost a dear friend to cancer this past week, and today’s comment-count will turn into a donation for a memorial plaque. [...]
Junebugg Says:
Nothing hurts quite like the loss of a child filled with so much promise for the future. I’ll send warm and healing thoughts to you and yours.
Karin Says:
My thoughts are prayers are with all of you. I know Ben is smiling down on all those who love him.
sandy Says:
My heartaches for the grief griping all those that loved Ben must be feeling. I pray you all may find comfort in your own time and way. God Bless you.
Kathy Says:
There is no pain like the loss of a child. My deepest sympathy.
Hula Doula Says:
How many times can I comment? If more than once can I comment 240 times? Ok ok so I’m not doing this by the rules.
Knowing that you all were going to have to tell them this weekend has had me internally in knots. I hurt because I knew that my niece and nephew were so touched by Ben and now he is gone. Knowing what was coming I babied them a wee bit while they were here yesterday. Lots of hugs and kisses.
My heart truly breaks for the Steadman family. I have enjoyed them when the children were riding bikes and playing in your home. I enjoyed watching them run around like a pack of wild children knowing that Ben was truly accepted and loved no matter if he could keep up or not.
Ben’s infectious smile is what I will remember. He will be missed. He will be missed by not only his family but by the lives he touched in his short time on earth.
HUGS and Kisses to all.
Oh and PS…can we donate as well? Would they rather us donate to a different cause in his name?
JP Says:
My prayers are with you
Ginger Says:
I’m sorry to hear of the loss! My sincerest thoughts for anyone who was directly or indirectly affected by this!
MB Says:
Thoughts and prayers for the Steadman family and all their friends and loved ones. We are so very sorry for your loss.
Becky Says:
There are just no words to describe how courageous the Steadman family is and what amazing friends you and Mrs. G have been.
I have yet to tell this story to anyone without breaking down in tears. I pray for them daily….
Lauryn Says:
I was directed here through a friend’s blog. I read the journals, I watched the tv reports, I read the stories. I cried. Hot tears of sadness. My little brother was born when I was 17 years old and a senior in high school. He is now 7 years old and looks remarkably like beautiful little Ben. I cried and cried. I thought about my own 7 month old daughter, sitting behind me in my husband’s lap, and I cried. I can only imagine the great loss they feel but hope that they can rejoice and celebrate the years Ben was able to grace their lives.
My prayers will be with them. And thank you for the wonderful act of kindness you are showing that family.
Kate Says:
Ok babe – now how can I lurk with a request like this? {{{hugs}}}
Kris Says:
(((((HUGS))))
I know this kidlin meant just as much to you as your own children. ((((HUGS)))))
Shellz Says:
Beautiful.
cmhl Says:
I hope you hit your goal—
Nancy Says:
What a wonderful thing to do to remember a sweet little boy. May the Lord bring comfort to your hearts and strength to be there for Ben’s family as well.
DWK Says:
You’ll reach your goal, kind hearted people always do. Good luck to you and my condolences.
Thumper Says:
This is awesome, a wonderful way to help remember a beautiful little man…
Monty Says:
I am so sorry that this terrible experience has happened both to you and your family and to the child who died and his family. I was sent over by CMHL, and I am glad she told me about your site and what happened. My prayers are with all of you tonight. Be well.
michael Says:
When I was a kid I lost both my grandfathers, one of our boys met becky’s dad but neither will meet mine.it always breaks the heart to hear of the loss of a loved one.
Nancy Says:
I’m so sorry. Prayers going up for all involved.
Patricia Says:
When my father passed away, he left a little note that said, “Don’t cry … I am here…call my name and I am all around you all the time. I am the stars in the sky and the warmth in the earth. I am the sun and all the beauty around you.” May you find comfort and peace.
TeacherGroupie Says:
Your son going off to play on hearing about Ben’s death COULD be denial, but it could as easily be a sort of shock, and it could also be that he’s the kind who needs to start his grief by himself – or even that he was, if you will, playing for Ben. (What is it they say in Latin? “Laborare est orare” – to work is to pray.) Kids can be deeper that way than we grownups give them credit for.
Blessings to the Steadmans and the Genuines.
Darkstar Says:
Sometimes, a gesture can go a long way. This is the mark if a gentleman. It shows heart and good nature.
I wish you well in this endeavor and am proud to do my small part to spur on this touching action.
Annie Hall Says:
So sorry. That news report and all that the Steadman’s and all who love them and Ben are going through is heartbreaking. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
DrumsNWhistles Says:
I am so sorry about this child. I hope you reach your goal. I think it’s very cool that you’re doing this.
Katie Says:
I am terribly sorry for your loss. I hope that you make your goal.
Pauline Says:
I’m so sorry for the Steadman’s and your loss.
SwampHag Says:
I have always found myself drawn to memorial plaques wherever I find them…. in hospitals, on nature walks, wherever.
I am sorry for the life lost too soon and for the family and for your children.
Be gentle with yourself too. It sounds like you could use some hugs too.
meeta Says:
I hope I’m not too late in leaving a comment.
Death and dying is a hard enough for adults to deal with even when we know that death is permanent. It is harder for children to deal with and I hope the books I recommended for you can help. Just remember it is a process for adults as well as children.
Ben sounds like he was an amazing kid. I’m sorry for your loss as well as the Steadmans
juliabohemian Says:
CMHL sent me. I’m so sorry for your loss. Encourage your children to greive openly and use this opportunity to learn from them how you might better cope with loss.
Nicole Says:
What a touching tribute. The loss of life so young puts other problems into perspective.
My prayers are with you,
Nicole
jess Says:
Coming out of lurking on others’ websites in order to come and help, if this helps. My prayers are with this family and you and your family as you cope and come to terms.
baseballmom Says:
So, so sorry for the loss of a beautiful child. I will keep you and the Steadmans in my prayers, and tell your babies that they will see their friend again in heaven.
esvee Says:
My prayers are with you all…
anaglyph Says:
Cancer’s crap. Kid’s shouldn’t have to deal with it. Hell, neither should adults. Maybe someday we’ll beat it. My thoughts go with you.
craziequeen Says:
Hello again, Genuine
$97 eh?
cq
craziequeen Says:
I think we should………
craziequeen Says:
make it a round $100 – don’t you?
Love to the Steadmans and your own family – and I hope it is a very pretty plaque for a sweet boy.
No star ever shines as bright as a new one.
cq
Minerva Says:
I am so sorry Genuine, sorry for the Steadmans, sorry for your pain at seeing your kids’ grief, and remembering the open sore of your own…
May he never be forgotten but remembered with love and laughter,
minerva
charlie and pandora Says:
Hi Genuine,
Our Mama cq was crying about your bean baby friend, and we have put out the call to all petblogs (fluffies (cats), buns (rabbits) and woofies (dogs)) to come over and help raise the total.
Our owners all have big hearts and this is one time all bloggers should be together.
[gentle headbutts and whiskery kisses]
charlie and pandora
doc-t Says:
There can be no greater pain than the loss of a child. I am sorry for the steadman’s loss. My heart hurts for them. I pray that the emptiness created by his being gone, can be filled with many, many happy memories of him…. May God bless the steadman family, and may He bless you, Genuine, for what you’re doing. You’re alright brother…
Friday's Child Says:
Children usually don’t show their feelings much for their friend’s death but deep inside they’re hurting too. It is sad to lose someone who is love by everyone but God has its own reasons.
MrsC Says:
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children at this difficult time.
vicki Says:
More prayers for you and your community of friends and family as you move through a time of sorrow and grief.
Boni Maroni Says:
I’m sorry to hear about your friend dying and you being sad. I’ll say lotsa purrayers for you and your family.
Derby & Mum Says:
Bless you for your kindness. What has happened is hard to understand as a child, as you well know. Our thoughts are prayers are with you all
Kathy Says:
My heart is breaking for them. How brave they are – I wish them peace and comfort in the company of their daughter and their family and friends. Just let them know it won’t hurt this much forever.
katkat Says:
This is a wonderful thing that you are doing Jim. God Bless
Seraphim Says:
I came to you after reading about this on WebKittyn’s blog. This is a good thing your doing, I hope Karma can repay you some day.
Utopia Says:
My mother in law died of cancer a little over a year ago. For her, the tables turned when they discovered a brain tumor. Before that, she had been battling it and doing very well. I know a comment doesn’t really man a lot when dealing with something like this, but, I suppose it is the thought that counts.
sloanta Says:
My thoughts are with you, your family and those you hold dear. Thank you for your beautiful and kind words.
AnnieG Says:
DrumsNWhistles told me to come over.
I have a family member facing surgery for recurrence of cancer, and we are always remembering our darling E— who died at age 6 of metastatic disease.
My sincere condolences to your family and to your neighbors.
alala Says:
cmhl sent me over. Please tell Ben’s family that they have my deepest condolences and my prayers. I’m so sorry for their loss, and so awed by their grace in the face of sorrow.
Stephanie Says:
((hugs)) I’m so sorry to hear about both of these tragedies! you are all in my thoughts as you go through this.
graycie Says:
There is no loss so terrible as the loss of a child.
chrissie Says:
i was directed here from another site. i can’t imagine the heartache of losing a child. my thoughts are with you all.
schaumi Says:
I was also directed here from another site.
I too lost a good friend to a drunk driver as a child.
I am very sorry for the loss of your friends. Parents should not have to bury their children. My mother also had to bury a child.
sarah Says:
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family, and Ben’s family. What a sad loss.
Polski3 Says:
One of the sad mysteries of life, how someone so young gets taken away or called away from those who love them……my thoughts and prayers for Ben and his family. For your children, encourage them to keep Ben alive in the love in their hearts.
Jazzy Says:
My thoughts and prayers are with the Steadmans and your family as well.
Mike N Says:
You have my sympathies.
Old Horsetail Snake Says:
This is so sad, Jim. Please give each of the Steadmans a hug for me.
Joyce Brandon Says:
I can’t imagine the pain of such a loss. Your shoulder will be much needed in the coming weeks and months… I have no doubt you’ll be there when they cry out.
CaptShutter Says:
Good Job old man
Theresa Says:
My condolences to you and to that boy’s family. This is a good thing you are doing.
Melissa Says:
Here is mine – my condolences for your family and your children and your friend’s family. It’s hard to lose someone like that…you’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Dawn Says:
Words fail me at this devastating time. I have no words that may bring comfort. I’ve also left a comment over on The Steadman’s blog, and I was directed here by CrazieQueen.
I’ve also done a little post on my own blog about Ben’s death and have asked everyone who reads it to leave comments here and over at The Steadman’s too.
The Steadman’s and all their family and friends are in my thoughts at this very difficult time.
david Says:
glad to drop in and say that i will pray for your two families. its times like these that forge the deepest bonds.
Hazel Hazel Says:
My thoughts and prayer go out to you and your family.
peggy Says:
what a kind thing you are doing!
tricia Says:
Praying for the Steadmans and for your family as well.
maggie Says:
You, your family, and the Steadman family are in my prayers. I’ve attended two funerals in the last week. It’s been tough. Thanks for the opportunity to “contribute” …even if it is just through a comment.
Sunshine Says:
I’ve been praying for everyone involved. And, this is such a great thing to do to remember him.
Rathi Says:
My thoughts and prayers for both of your families at this time!
Jenn Says:
It’s always so hard when a child passes on. My thoughts are with you, your children and of course, Ben’s family as they go through this rough time.
mrs. diamond Says:
my heart and my prayers go out to all of you. i am just in tears.
Caroldee Says:
My deepest sympathies to you and to Ben’s family…the blog community sends their loving suuport their way.
Lorna Says:
Thank you for this generous and compassionate act. Your support for the child’s family is as inspiring as the family’s courage in their journey.
Alison Says:
CMHL sent me.
My condolences to you and the Steadman family on the loss of Ben. What a wonderful way to commemorate his life!
PsychoKitty Says:
Does it count if this is a 2nd comment? But this time, I’m here as my cat..
Lin Says:
It is never right or easy for a parent to bury a child and so my heart and prayers go out to the Steadman family during their time of grieving and healing.
lazymommy Says:
I can’t say much about this. I am too sad. I just wanted to up the comment count. Bless you for doing this for them.
luxlucisvita Says:
i’m so sorry for the loss….i feel so sad…but….this post made me rethink some issues i have in life
Erin Says:
What a wonderful way to celebrate his young life. Many thought’s and prayer’s are will all of you!!
Jim Says:
Surely you won’t sweat it it if I make it an even One-fifty….
Jim Says:
Not that I doubt you’ll far surpass 150 but I’d like to put you past that century-and-a-half mark
Jim Says:
Nah, I got drunk with you and I know you’re a good sport and not’s like I’m really cheating….
Jim Says:
OK, I’ll leave it alone now… just wanted to let you know my heart and prayers (though given by an atheist) are with you, yours, and the folks who need it most… and you’re at 150 – every little bit counts!
Sarah Says:
I think this is a wonderful way to celebrate the bright light a child brings into the world. And I know that I am very saddened that that light in Ben has been put out. But whatever your religious beliefs, he’s in a place that he can see and hear us all, no pain, no fear.
What a strong child he must have been. And how strong you all are to carry on and really just rejoice in the his life.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
whitney Says:
I will have you and the family in my prayers. God Bless you all.
Melissa Says:
I read about Ben last week… and prayers for their family– but also for yours– your children especially.
Vicki Says:
Your recent posts have made me tear up, and hug my little one a little tighter. Prayers for both your family and Ben’s are being offered up from all over. It is amazing how much one life can inspire us all.
Bless you for sharing this time with us.
the meezers Says:
So sorry to read about Ben.
Katherine Says:
I’m so sorry for the loss of Ben, he sounds wonderful! I’m sure you and your kids have many memories of times with him that you will cherish. Not the same as having him with you, but at least a very small comfort.
Tianna Says:
My condolences. I hope you have a better summer.
Jeanine Says:
My heart goes out to your friends on the loss of their son. Also, to you guys and your kids. Hopefully, time and memories will heal the hurt.
Cindi Says:
My thoughts and prayers and hopes that you meet that goal with some to spare.
Cindi
Carli Says:
To loose a child so young is to me heartwrenching. My families thoughts and prayers are with the Steadmans and your family as you help your children and yourself deal with the consequences of being “left behind”. May God show his love to all involved.
shelly Says:
My thoughts and prayers will be with all of you. What a heartbreak to lose a child so young and sweet.
Katie Says:
I’m so sorry to hear of your neighborhood’s loss. I can’t even imagine.
Milenka Says:
I am so glad that your families have each other.
Bob Says:
Hello,
Just found your blog and wanted to express my condolences to everyone affected by such a tragedy. I myself recently lost my mother to cancer, but I cannot imagine the depth of the grief that comes with losing a child. It is my sincere hope that one day, this plague called cancer is erradicated from the earth. Peace to all.
Shellie Says:
That’s so sad. I can’t even begin to imagine such a loss. Thoughts & prayers are with your friends at this time.
Megann Says:
My heart goes out to the family and friends of Ben. Six years is never enough.
Maryanne Says:
I’ve been thinking of them so much since I read your initial post. It’s so incredibly sad and I prayed for you as well as I knew it would be difficult for you and your wife to tell your children about their little friend. I only hope in time the sadness you feel in your hears is replaced by a smile here and there when you remember the good times you all shared. God Bless you all. Maryanne
Mary Says:
I am very saddened to hear about your friend passing.
It is hard to explain to children but I think sometimes they understand it more than adults do.
Good luck and my prayers are with you all.
Stephanie Chance Says:
My six-year-old neice died four years ago. It is so much more difficult to bear the loss of a child. I am so sorry.
Deputy's Wife Says:
You are all in my prayers.
God Bless.
Lynda Says:
I lost my younger sister to cancer in October. She was 25 years old. I think as an adult I am going through a lot of those emotions that you expressed you felt as a kid. It is that feeling of mortality – knowing you aren’t really invincible.
I think this is a wonderful thing you are doing. I hope the Steadman family finds comfort in the memories of Ben.
Debra Says:
Thoughts and prayers for all of those effected by this tradegy.
Marlene Says:
I’ll be praying for this family…
Josie Says:
I know how extremely painful it is to loose a child. In October we lost our 25 year old daughter to non-smokers lung cancer. She left behind a 4 1/2 month old son.
The Steadman family and all of their friends are in our thoughts and prayers. We feel their pain of the loss of a loved one.
farg Says:
It’s a hard thing for a family to witness. This is a beautiful thing you’re doing. My prayers go out to the family and friends of Ben.
Donna Fenn Says:
This is in memory of my Aunt Donna who passed away 2 years ago from cancer.
Lynda (Laurianne's Sister) Says:
My sister’s name is Laurianne Koning, and we keep a blog in her memory at http://lauriannes-hope.blogspot.com.
I would be honored to have a dollar donated in her memory.
Darcie Says:
I am so very sorry for your loss. My condolences to Ben’s family.
Norma Says:
Shelli sent me. Best wishes.
Michelle, memory of my father Joseph Says:
I was sent her from a mom in my local community. I wanted to let you know that I am truly sorry and I know how difficult this is. I lost my father, Joseph to cancer 3 years ago and have been devastated since. I, myself, learned in Sept that I have cervical cancer and I have 6 children, 5 of them under 7. I wish I could hugh that family, to let them know that they are loved, their son was a miracle and a gift to this world! I am truly sorry and will prayer that they get the comfort they need to get through the next couple of days, months years.
i will be holding my children closer tonight, letting them know just how much they mean to me. Thank you for sharing with us.
helene Says:
In memory of my grandmother, Dina. I am so sorry for your family and Ben’s for this devastating loss. Ben’s family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Julia Says:
Cancer is such a cruel disease and I am lucky enough not to have lost anyone close to me to it. My father in law is recovering from prostate cancer and things are looking good for him. My condolences to you all, and here’s hoping that you will accomplish your goal of 240 comments!
Betsy Says:
My thoughts go out to your family and Ben’s.
becca Says:
My thoughts and prayers go out to the family at this difficult time. Thank you for helping them out in this way.
Dusty Says:
Im very sorry to hear of the passing of your son… I will hold you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. i also am very heavily involved in relay for life and i will light a candle in his honor..
You have a great freind here.. I hope you cherish your memories forever..
Socks Says:
What a wonderful and heartfelt thing you are doing for this family. My prayers and thoughts go out to them in their time of healing. I have lost many loved ones to cancers over my life time and know how difficult it can be to lose someone you love so much to this terrible disease.
Many prayers…
Chuck Says:
As the father of 6, I can say nothing to help you in your time of grief.
Hold your memories dearly they will always be with you.
J's Mommy Says:
I don’t know what to say but I had to comment.
Don Says:
What remains so sad is that sometimes the question “why” can’t be answered on this side of death. Those remaining must live each day with this question that has no answer. The real truth is Ben’s address has changed, nothing more. He lives in heaven and runs streets of gold and, one day, you will reunite with him again. What a reunion that will be!I pray Ben’s family will find peace in knowing that Ben is so unexplainably happy where he is now that if he were given the chance to come back, he’d stay and wait patiently for those he loves on this side of life to join him for an eternity together.
ben Says:
I’m so sorry.
YellowRose Says:
Your family and friends are in my thoughts and prayers. The loss of a child is something we will never have an answer for. May God give you the comfort on earth you need till you all are reunited again.
I will link you on my blog also. God Bless.
Becky Says:
I have already commented earlier… but I would like to comment in honor of my father who died of brain cancer as well. I think this story moved me so much because I was pregnant with my son, Benjamin, when my father lost his 1 1/2 year battle with brain cancer.
Roger Thomas Randall
08-17-45 to 06-10-04
E :) Says:
My heart goes out to the little boy and his family and friends. Tragedies like this should remind everyone to cherish their own lives and loved ones.
Lonna Says:
What a blessing you are.
Omnibus Driver Says:
I will be praying for the Steadmans… and for your family, as well.
Missy Says:
I’m responding in memory of my mother who died of cancer 12 years ago; she is still with me in my heart, as Ben will be with you. Blessings.
mdvelazquez Says:
Kind thoughts and prayers to all of you.
Maria
Chewie Says:
I’m leaving a comment in honor of my friend Julia who is fighting like a wild animal against complications during treatment of her breast cancer.
Prayers for the family who has lost their dear child. I cannot imagine the pain.
Chewie
Pamalamadingdong Says:
has got to be the worst thing ever. ever. ever .ever.
Henry Koning Says:
I am very sorry for your loss.I lost my youngest daughter not too long ago due to lung cancer .I feel very sorry for your loss. Please e-mail me so I can make a contribution. sincerely Henry.
Karen Says:
Left a comment on their website yesterday but came back today thinking of a friends child who was just diagnosed with cancer. Heartbreaking.
audrey Says:
You are in my thoughts
Audrey
alexxxis Says:
i`m sorry for your loss. it`s a really nice thing you`re doing. it always is when people help eachother.
Dan (Laurianne's brother-in-law) Says:
You are doing a great service. If I recall correctly, Mark Twain was someone who was born and died in the same year of a comet’s passing (Haley’s Comet).
Michael Says:
You redifine the word “Humble”, You are a true man, This story is definately a lump hard to swallow, But still, what your doing is amazing, more power to you brother. My best wish’s to the Steadmans.
Shantell Gutierrez Says:
Jim…I am a friend of Dean and Melinda and have come to you by the comments you have left on their blog. I am very thankful for your support in this endeavor, they are a great family and I am glad they landed next door to you. I know that Ben and Madie have always adored playing with your kids. We all feel this loss, and you are doing a great thing to help the healing process start.
Much appreciation
Shantell Gutierrez
Broomfield, Co
Enigma Says:
I lost my Grandfather to cancer before I ever met him. I always have been told that I look like him. It is bittersweet to hear such things.
Several of my friends have died due to various cancers. It never gets easier.
When I was 9 years old I lost my very best friend to juvenile diabeties. I denied it all summer. Insisting to my family and other friends that he was just visiting his grandmother through the summer. When school starte back up the teacher announced to the class that my friend had died. I stood up and caller her a liar and ran out of the room and ran home.
I still grieve for him and tell my own sons what a good friend I once had.
It is a good thing that you are doing!
Alice-Anne Nix Says:
I know the devastation of losing a son to death (mine to bacterial meningitis). I am so sorry my thoughts are with you and this family. Thanks for being a good friend. Try to remember that grief is a very long road for parents and you will feel better long before they do. I love my friends who have been able to stick it out and understand years later.
Bob Says:
I had commented earlier, but I wanted to add a comment in memory of my mother, who passed away in January of lung cancer (like many others with this cancer, she was never a smoker)
Debra Ann Angelo
7-12-52 to 1-21-06
Barbara Says:
My deepest sympathy to Ben Steadman’s family. I hope that in time, the memories of Ben bring you comfort.
Kid Sis Says:
Love and light from the Mom’s Cancer family.
Magnolia Mom Says:
My prayers are with ALL of you.
Lazy Daisy Says:
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Jenny Says:
I’ll be keeping you all in my thoughts.
Amanda Says:
This has touched me deeply….I will stop to savor my babies tonight. You are in my thoughts. I am so sorry….
Sandy Says:
What a tribute to a young man who never got to live out a full life. Sandy
Corrie Says:
My sympathy to your family and the family of your friend.
Suz Says:
My heart goes out to you, your family and to Ben’s family.
You will all be in my Prayers.
I had a close friend pass from breast cancer a few years ago.
Hugs Suz
Donn Says:
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
God Bless.
Elaine Says:
I just read his story at their site and I am in tears for such a loss. How does a family even begin to cope with such a thing? You’re all in my thoughts.
Colleen Says:
I grew up in Firestone and although it’s grown by leaps and bounds since I lived there, I know the heart of that community. I went to school at Frederick Elementary when a young boy named Kevin Valen passed away from MD. We were in the 5th grade. His picture still hung in the IMC at that school the last time I was there (well after graduating high school).
I’m sure Ben touched many during his young life and he will be remembered for many years by more than just his family. I want to send my thoughts and prayers to everyone who’s lives were touched by him, most especially his family and close friends.
Doreen Says:
Sending good vibes your way!
Tyra Says:
My heart goes out to all of you.
I’m here in memory of my mom who fought a hard battle with cancer for many years.
libragirl Says:
I here. In memory of anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone with cancer.
amy Says:
It hurts to lose someone so young, but even in his short time here he made quite an impact. That will never be forgotten.
I am here in memory of H. A boy born four months too early, who only spent a few monts with us, who we will never forget. He is missed.
Cathy Says:
Thank you for what you are doing.
Anne-Marie Says:
Jim, you are wonderful.
I am here on behalf of the board of directors of Carbon Valley Academy, Ben’s school.
I am also here in memory of my father, Leslie, who passed away nearly 7 years ago when I was pregnant with Nathan. He would have been 88 years old this year. I dream of him often, but know he’s nearby. All I have to do is look at Nathan to see my father’s face.
I will see you tomorrow at the celebration for Ben. The kids and I will be wearing yellow. Thank you for doing this.
Mamacita Says:
This post is for my friend Darla Smith, who has just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and whose goal is to make it till the end of the school year, teaching. I love you, Darla; you were really good to my children, and I know it wasn’t always an easy thing to do.
Hall Says:
Arrived here from Three Kid Circus… here in the name of my friend Ben who died at 12 of bone cancer, many many years ago, never forgotten.
My sympathies to you and your kids in this difficult time.
Tammy Anderson Says:
God Bless you for your generousity!
Mamacita Says:
This one is for my Mother, who is in remission for uterine cancer. I love you, Mom; you’re the best mother in the world. Mom would like to sit in a rocking chair and hold Ben’s mother, and rock back and forth and whisper to her that it will be okay in the end.
Mamacita Says:
Another for my sister Teresa, in remission for breast cancer. She’s a big dog in the insurance underwriting business, and has a heart as big as all outdoors. We have seldom agreed on anything in all our lives, but on this, we do.
Tammy Anderson Says:
I’m sorry if this messes up your count! I meant to state that this post in honor of my childhood best friend who I lost when we were 8. She was struck by a car and killed, not one hour after she and her family had returned from a vacation. She darted out into the street to retrieve her skateboard. I can see her smiling face even after 25+ years. I know I didn’t lose her to cancer, but I lost her nontheless. God bless you!
Mamacita Says:
This for my brother Steve, a business professor in Idaho, who has two young sons and sends his sympathies to the Steadmans.
Angel Says:
I’m so very sorry :*( Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Diva Kitty Says:
Good night sweet prince and may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest
Fiona Bun Says:
Life is a flower of which love is the honey. -Hugo
Susan Says:
You’re good people, Genuine. The world could use a few more like you.
And now I need to go hug my sons.
Orlando Bun Says:
I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love. -Mother Teresa
Xavier Says:
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. -Mother Teresa
Joaquin Says:
Small things, done in great love, bring joy and peace.
Carmen Says:
Spread love everywhere you go: first of all in your own house. Give love to your children, to your wife or husband, to a next-door neighbor. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting.
keving Says:
Good luck with going beyond the $. I lost my Mom to cancer in 2003.
Mike Koning(Laurianne's Brother) Says:
I’m saddened to hear about the loss of Ben. My thoughts, prayers and support are with all family members and friends. I think this is a great idea and I’m happy to contribute in any way I can.
I recently lost my younger sister, Laurianne Koning, to non-smoking related lung cancer, 4 1/2 months after she gave birth to her son Calem Koning. I know these next few months are going to be very difficult, but be strong like Ben, Laurianne and everyone else who has had to learn to deal with this type of situation.
http://lauriannes-hope.blogspot.com/
http://calemk.blogspot.com/
Sarah Says:
Usually I don’t comment on posts about a close death because I can never find the right words but I suppose this is a better time than any to start.
I am sorry for your loss
surcie Says:
peace be with you.
Corina Says:
so sad, for his parents, for your kids, for you and Mrs. G. it seems so unfair, because it is unfair. I have recurring nightmares about losing my strong, healthy kids like this, but I’m lucky, because I get to wake up. The Steadman family doesn’t get to wake up.
mama kelly Says:
as a mother I cannot even begin to imagine the pain this family is going through
I am sorry for your loss
May you find peace in remembering the love you shared
Susan Says:
As the mother of four boys and one who is 7….this broke my heart!! I am praying for everyone who has been touched by this story.
Jenn Says:
What a wonderful thing you are doing. Best of luck. This family is blessed to have you in their life. I cannot imagine the pain they are going through.
Bethany Says:
My condolences…. to both you, your family, and Ben’s family
Cindy Says:
I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray for the family.
Jules Says:
I have lost my husband–I can’t imagine the pain of losing a child. I will say a prayer for all of you.
Meg Says:
Oh how this family will be in my prayers. I know the pain of losing a loved one, and a young one at that. I lost my little brother just over a year ago. I am here to tell you that it gets easier, but that’s of no comfort now, I’m sure. Lots of love to you all.
Judy Says:
I posted a few days ago on their site – the Steadmans are in my prayers.
G, you are doing a remarkable thing with your donation.
(((HUGS)))) to all of you.
Abel Says:
You are awesome for doing this for the Steadman family!!! Thank you for being so caring!
margalit Says:
ALthough you appear to be over your comment requirement, I thought I’d leave one more to mention Aaron Hopkins, who died at age 5 of Burkett’s Lymphoma in Newburyport, MA in 1987.
Thanks for trying to help the Steadman family, and my condolences to them.
Shylah Says:
You’ve already reached your goal, but I’m peeking in to offer my support anyway. My own child will learn the horrible truth about life and death far too soon also, and I’m already grieving the loss of that bit of her innocence.
I’m thinking of you and the kids, and sending lots of love and healing energies your way.
angelic_bishy Says:
my thoughts are with you all…sorry for your loss
Kimmy Says:
I am getting ready to click on the links now.
Thank you for doing this!
I hope I’m not too late!
Amy Says:
This is a truly wonderful thing that you are doing, I’m sure the Steadmans will appreciate it so much. Love and peace to you all xxx
OldOldLady Of The Hills Says:
I was lurking over at Craziequeens and I just wanted to stop by and say I am soooo very sorry for youyr loss and your children’s and the Steadman Family’s grief over theis terrible terrible tragedy.
This is such a lovely thing to do in Ben’s memory.
Bless You All.
Melissa Says:
I have read your story on Blogher and Three Ring Circus. If I could donate actual money I would. But I will be praying for your family and theirs. God be with you.
mar Says:
So sorry…over from yellowrosesgarden…
Oreo Says:
Mine Mom lost her Maw-Maw to brain cancer. Horrible thing.
Angela Says:
I think the plaque is a lovely idea. I’ve only just read the post about Ben and can’t bring myself to read the Steadman’s blog yet as I know I will be in tears. My Dad died of a brain tumour in 1999 and it was very upsetting. I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose a child that way. Love to you all x
Mary Says:
I wanted to express my condolences to this family over the loss of their son. Having experienced the death of two sons ourselves, not to cancer, we know how difficult and heartbroken the road ahead will be. We will continue to keep all of you in our thoughts and prayers! God Bless!
Mary
Mommy to Christina, Kelly, Benjamin, ^Adam^, ^Collin^, and baby due 9/8/06
~~ Our precious little angels…..forever loved……forever missed!! ~~
Lucinda Says:
The Steadmans are in my prayers. What a heartbreaking loss. I’m glad they have friends like you to help them through it.
Busy Mom Says:
I hope today goes well. My prayers continue to be with everyone touched by Ben’s life.
Jordan Says:
Beautiful
Heather Says:
I’m glad to see the 240 comments have been received, but felt moved to comment anyway. My mother passed away in January becaue of cancer. And I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I can’t possibly begin to imagine the pain the Steadman’s are going through but please know that I am keeping them in my thoughts and prayers. May you all find strength, comfort, and love during this time.
Heather
North Carolina
Kris Says:
Oh, Jim. How awful. I’m so, so sorry. My deepest sympathies to Ben’s family and yours.
Sheri Says:
I realize you are your comment count, but can’t leave without expressing my most sincere condolences. You will all be in our families prayers.
Jodie Says:
I just had to tell you that what you are doing is a great thing. I can’t imagine the loss of a child. After reading, I had to go grab my girls and hug them tightly. I’m sure he was a special little boy and I know he will be very missed . I’m keeping you all in my thoughts. I really think you made a lot of people stop and take account of their lives and that is always a good thing.
Brian Fies Says:
Best of luck to you. This is about the worst thing I can imagine happening to a family and you’re handling it in a positive way with class and imagination. Good luck.
Sarah Says:
I am so sorry for your loss. I know I’m past the 240 goal, but I wanted you to know that I’m thinking about your family.
Undercover Angel Says:
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
marlen Says:
So sorry for your loss. ((Hugs)) and prayers for your family and Ben’s. I got here via Three Kid Circus.
ashley Says:
Hope this helps. You are so generous. Cannot imagine what the family is going through…my thoughts and prayers are with them in this devastating time.
olrebbie Says:
what a strong and excellent person you are–i so admire the way you are helping your kids through this and dealing with ben’s passing yourself. tears will dry as time turns, and the blessing of memories will be yours for all time.
Candice Says:
Amazing what you are doing. But such a sad loss. I’m so sorry.
Ms Cornelius Says:
I lost my father to cancer on January 31st. He was 83 when he passed. My heart and my prayers go out to you, even at this late date, because I haven’t been very good at blogging lately. I nonetheless want you and Ben’s family to know that you are all in my prayers.
a Says:
sorry to hear about your loss.
Leah Says:
I am very sorry to hear about Ben. I hope you all are able to reach your goal for the plaque for him.
I lost my uncle to Lung cancer in 1993, he was 32. He never smoked, so it was just his time I guess, even though he had just finished law school and had a whole life ahead of him to go…
Hope you all are doing better, each day will get better.
Eponine's Cowboy Says:
Your son providing strength is a wonderful story. I think it’s amazing where we find comfort in times of need. My hope is your blog and all these comments will help those who loved Ben.
Never forget. Hold on to your memories!
Holly Says:
I am so sorry to hear about Ben. The plaque is a wonderful idea, it is really good of you to do that.
Aimee Steadman Says:
Thank you so much for doing this for my nephew Ben. Our family really appreciates everything the community has done for Ben. THANK YOU
Shelli’s Sentiments » Blog Archive » Snow in Canada Says:
[...] Before you get into my Monday Memory, I need to ask you all a favor. Could you please go over to Genuine’s blog and leave a comment under his post titled Tears In Heaven. He is donating a dollar for every comment he receives to a plaque in Ben Steadman’s name to the Memorial Garden at the Anschutz Cancer Center. Thank you all very much! [...]
Brandi Says:
Please give Ben’s Family my sentiments. Positive thoughts to all who’s life he touched.
Yellow Roses Garden » Monday Memories Says:
[...] Monday Memories Before you read this entry, please pop over to Genuine’s blog and leave a comment under his post titled Tears In Heaven. He is donating a dollar for every comment he receives to a plaque in Ben Steadman’s name to the Memorial Garden at the Anschutz Cancer Center. Thanks from me to you! [...]
Genuine » Another Cancer Story Says:
[...] Many of you left some great condolences for our friends and neighbors the Steadmans when they lost their son Ben. I wish for once I had other news. [...]
Rob Says:
Great idea. Best wishes.
-Rob
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Candice Michelle Says:
candice michelle…
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Adam H Says:
Thank you captain obvious!
Arab Singles Says:
Arab Singles…
I Googled for something completely different, but found your page…and have to say thanks. nice read….