Is it bad that it is only Tuesday and I already feel as though I am exhausted? You know, that kind of tired that is so bad that a plunger full of adrenaline jammed into your heart like in "Pulp Fiction" could not start your heart for the day?
Those of you that know me or have been reading my blog for a while know that I am not the textbook sleeper. I suffer from severe insomnia and I am not what you would call a heavy sleeper. In fact, the sprinklers come on at 4:00 a.m. and I can hear it. The neighbor across the street comes home from a night out at 2:00 a.m. and I can hear him cough as he lights his next cigarette. I digress, but you get the point.
Don't get me wrong, I love Genuine Baby, and he generally sleeps through the night. The problem is not necessarily that he is sleeping or not, but it is how he sleeps that drives me up the wall. The way Genuine Baby sleeps is a cross between snoring and humming. He has this rumbling coming from his sinus cavity, chest and throat that sounds somewhat like an old man with sleep apnea while running a chainsaw. It's like the scene from the cartoon when the faucet drips and keeps the cartoon character awake. It is driving me absolutely crazy, until my eyes want to pop out of my head!!!!
Now add to the fact that the three year old Genuine Boy is having a bit of a problem with nightmares of Spiderman and the Green Goblin, and my sleep success is not what it should be given the amount of brain power needed throughout the day.
Whew, I am glad I got that off my chest. If you see me sleeping at my desk, please leave me alone for the next 20 minutes while I catch a cat nap.
Now for a bit of wisdom: Do not accelerate your vehicle while drinking from a wide mouth glass, unless of course you need to have a wake up call.
Are we there yet?
Don't forget the desk-nap trick to eliminate unsightly desk marks from your face. Place Maxi-Pad (important: sticky side DOWN) to desk and use as a pillow. Also catches drool. Don't get any ideas, I am patenting this...
Just remember if anyone catches you sleeping, just glare at them, look them in the eyes and say, "Dude! I hope you are happy! I had just figured out that problem that has been plaguing us for months and you come busting in here disturbing me! I hope you know that you are resposible for the repurcussions."
It will put them so on the defensive they will completely forget that you were actually sleeping and will start apologizing to you.
If that doesn't work, blame it on the "new baby". He should be good for at least a few more months. (And he is too young to deny it.)
We mostly have just plain old ghosts around our house. You know... nothing that a night light can't scare away. Good luck- spiderman is probably pretty tough to get rid of, I suspect.
I'm going through a similar thing with my little boy. He's waking up between the hours of 12:00AM and 2:00AM and staying awake for a couple hours. Oh, I'm getting 4-6 hours of sleep a night. I just wish they were consecutive.
I hope you get some sleep too!
Getting to sleep is my problem, once I am asleep I'm a corpse. Have you told the doc about Genuine Baby's snoring?
When somebody wakes you up at your desk, just mumble "They warned me at the blood bank that this might happen..."