Being a parent can be a full time job for those of you that stay at home or work at home with your children. Having a regular office job along with being a parent can be like working the day shift and the night shift. This is fairly typical of the night shift for me.

4:00 p.m. – The whistle blows and Genuine must clock in.

4:06 p.m. – Genuine leaves the parking lot for the ½ hour commute to home.

4:12 p.m. – Contact Mrs. G to determine what it is that we are having for supper so that Genuine may start it once Genuine comes through the front door. On this night, we have no idea, and we both negotiate to see who is going to cook. A stalemate of the discussion results in an overwhelming vote for Arby’s.

4:31 p.m. – A call is placed to Mrs. G to provide a traffic report and to let her know Genuine just nearly witnessed a motorcycle accident. The pile of laundry in the median was actually the motorcycle rider. The highway would be closed by the time Mrs. G was at that point. She would need to take the long way home.

5:26 p.m. – Call from Mrs. G to advise that the long way is still the long way.

6:01 p.m. - Mrs G. pulls into the driveway, and dinner is ready (that is, as soon as we can get it out of the bag).

6:23 p.m. – The negotiations begin with Genuine Girl and Boy about dessert. The 7th time of asking Genuine Boy to finish his food is met with “I don’t want it!”

6:34 p.m. – As Genuine begins to clean up Genuine Boy’s mess of French Fries and Chicken Nuggets, he screams, “Nooooo! I want it!” followed by more negotiations of dessert and details of playing with the neighbors after we eat supper.

6:50 p.m. – Genuine Girl asks permission to play with the neighbors. Permission is granted with the proviso that she must first ask the neighbor’s mother if it is okay to play with the neighbors.

6:59 p.m. – Assuming permission was granted by neighbor for Genuine Girl to play next door, Genuine goes to check on the status of whether neighborhood is still safe. Upon reaching the front door Genuine notices that Genuine Girl is not at neighbors where permission was asked, but is at neighbor’s house further up the street, playing with a bike that is not hers. Genuine must investigate. Meanwhile, Genuine Boy runs from the house to original neighbor’s house to play with neighbor’s children. Genuine walks to front of neighbor’s house when he hears Genuine Boy crying because neighbors are eating dinner and he has been turned away, which is also why Genuine Girl is down the street.

7:01 p.m. – Genuine Boy is screaming and crying in the front yard, lying face down in the grass. He then sees Genuine Girl playing on neighbor number 2’s bike and decides that he would rather play on bike. An argument ensues followed by Daddy mediating and then making all children return home, as play time is now over. This is followed by arduous objections and more negotiations.

7:15 p.m. – Fashion Show begins. Genuine Girl is having pictures taken at school the following day and an outfit must be determined to best fit the first kindergarten class pictures.

8:01 p.m. – Fashion Show continues as Mommy and Daddy cannot seem to agree on ensemble. Daddy throws hands up and grabs Genuine Boy for the death march to bed. Protests begin and a horsey ride to the bathroom is negotiated.

8:04 p.m. – Genuine Boy argues with Daddy about how much toothpaste to put on the toothbrush. Teeth are then brushed, and ritual acrobatic jump off the counter into Daddy’s outstretched arms is performed.

8:12 p.m. - Genuine Boy is put to bed. He is unusually quiet and seems to want to sleep.

8:17 p.m. - Mrs. G and Genuine Girl are discussing the finer points of getting ready for bed, and although I’m not sure, it sounded as if there were still some negotiations going on about wardrobe selection.

8:36 p.m. – Genuine Girl is put to bed and the party in the room with Genuine Boy begins. Threat number one is issued to Genuine children to go to bed or else.

8:38 p.m. – Genuine threatens children to go to bed, or else.

8:43 pm. – Genuine grants permission for all Genuine children to go to the potty, then herds children back to bed after another round of kisses goodnight.

9:12 p.m. – Numerous attempts have been made to make children settle down and go to sleep., After turning the computer over to Mrs. G to begin her answering of emails, Genuine grabs book and due to the hint of being tired, heads to bedroom with book.

9:36 p.m. – Genuine last looks at the clock before miracle of all miracles drifts off to sleep.

10:15 p.m. – A fight breaks out between Genuine Girl and Mrs. G over the finer points of going to sleep followed by shouting and door slamming. So much for falling asleep early.

10:19 p.m. – Reinforcements are called in to the situation to squelch the uprising of the natives. At this point the threats no longer work, it is time for action. Loud father voice is summoned from deep within.

10:31 p.m. – Silence is golden. Finishing up emails, Genuine then heads to bed to see if 9:36 sleep pattern is still a possibility.

12:42 a.m. – Sleep was not in the cards for Genuine and this was the last he looked at the clock before finally drifting off to bed.

2:11 a.m. Genuine Baby begins to scream as if someone was trying to brand him with a hot poker. Mrs. G heads to kitchen to get a warm bottle as apparently he believes it is time for a midnight snack. Genuine informs Genuine Baby that midnight was more than 2 hours previous. Genuine Baby continues with protests. Genuine wonders if he should not go ahead an blog this.

3:42 a.m. - Genuine drift off to wonderful dream land holding Mrs. G and all is good with the world.

4:11 a.m. – Genuine Baby decides that 2 hour late midnight snack just was not quite enough. Mrs. G and Genuine both take potty breaks.

5:00 a.m. – Alarm sounds and snooze button pushed, and Mrs. G. begins breast pumping.

5:09 a.m. – Snooze button pushed, Mrs. G gets into the shower.

5:18 a.m. - Snooze button pushed.

5:26 a.m. Genuine enters shower and begins to clock in for day job.

Thank God for day jobs.