My son for no reason (except that maybe paybacks are a bitch) pushed my daughter backwards off her kitchen chair last night. This type of aggressive behavior has been prevalent in him since a few months ago. I am trying to figure out if this is a “boys will be boys” phase, or whether there is some outside influence that has caused him to be aggressive and destructive.
For a while, I was prepared to blame it on the Disney Channel, and the Power Rangers. Then I noticed that he was acting out other characters like Tarzan, like Buck of “Home on the Range”, and other DVD’s that we have in our collection. I even catch myself acting more agressive with him than with his sister (for some reason he can handle a knucka sammich better than Genuine Girl).
Genuine Girl grew up watching the entirely same DVD’s, the same TV shows, and we never saw this aggressive behavior. Is this something innate in boys? Do the stereotypes actually fit here? Genuine Girl is good with words and uses her mind to punch out her opponent, and Genuine Boy uses his brawn. She manipulates and terrorizes him with her psyche, and I guess he pushes her off chairs. I guess it’s all about that Y chromosome and serotonin versus testosterone. I knew I should have paid attention during that class.
I think it is a testing stage they go through to check reactions, what works, etc.... It is now that the "acceptable" or unacceptable" behavior should be learned..one HOPES. If not? get Genuine Girl a soft place to land..
My 15 year old daughter is very mellow while my 12 year old son has a quick temper. I think they just have very different personalities, as we don't treat either one any differently. My son is always the instigator who has to poke, prod or trip his sister. I think he has more energy and needs an outlet, and the pesky things he does are part of his innate "energy removal system."
I think it all comes down to personalities. I babysat a couple of girls who were holy terrors, way worse than any of the boys I babysat. And my son is a complete pacificist. Let me tell you, he didn't get that from me! :-)
I had a psychology class where the teacher stated that "until the age of 4, all children, male or female, act alike." BULLSHIT! My son had a cousin who was female and only 2 weeks older then him. At one year of age, she would hug the teddy bear, and study and try to stack blocks, Austin would topple onto the teddy bear and knock the blocks over. DEFINITELY hormonal.
I have 4 boys and although they are not aggressive when they are out in the world, with each other they... well, they beat the crap out of each other. They do things, I as a girl, never even thought of. I never believed in the gender gap until I had my boys. I'm thinking it's a boy thing.
I AM THINKING ITS A KID THING....YOU MAY WANT TO REMIND HIM THAT WHEN THEY ARE ABOUT 15-17 HE WILL BE BEATING UP GUYS THAT PICK ON HER OR BREAK HER HEART....CUZ THATS JUST WHAT BROTHERS DO!
Boy thing. Pure and simple. As innate as having to touch their equipment every five minutes to be sure it's still attached.
It's also related to the amount of TV they watch -- I can tell when I need to wean the 9 yo off the tube when the mouth starts being sassy and the attitude starts flowing.
You could limit the tv/videos to the Boobahs. Or not -- those things freak me out.
I think Debby has the Y chromosome, but its more like: "WHY" cant I have this? or "WHY" cant I have that? and "WHY" are you doing it like that? and "WHY" arent you listening to me? All the braun in the world cant help with that.
Being a child therapist, I can tell you it's true, boys do socialize differently than girls. If you ever walk into a preschool class (I used to work in one), you will notice how boys and girls are somewhat socialized even by society to handle conflict and peer pressure differently. The thing is you have to nip all negative behaviors in the bud. So for girls, they do use manipulation as a way to socialize whereas boys...they just push and shove. It seems to somewhat work, until later on in life when you notice they way girls handle conflict is actually pretty horrendous (i.e., rumor spreading, name calling, exclusion..etc).
If you can call them out on it now, it actually helps in the long run. Ack. This is a really long comment post. I do apologize.
There's actually more to this gender issue, but I don't want to bore everyone to tears ;)
I so enjoy reading these posts about the kidlets :-)
Ok, I'm one of 5. My sister, for reasons known only to her and God, pushed me off the top of a slide when I was 3 or 4. I landed on my head on concrete. I still have the bump. After Mom got me home from the emergency room, I was cross eyed. There I stood with my ice cream cone, which my sister promptly took out of my hand.
Today, that sister has two sons. One is cerebral, one is destined to live on a Harley.
I think it's just the individual soul and character that little person was born with. And I don't think you have anything to worry about. Not that I'm a parent, but I spend a lot of time watching them and holy cow, you people can turn yourselves inside out ;-) {hug} Everything will be OK!
I'm still alive after all aren't I? And, ahem....despite what some might say...no brain damage here.
Okay I only have furkids but we have the same issues here sometimes with the dogs. That being said, Genuine Boy is pissed at Genuine Girl for Genuine Girl teasing him at times and he has no other means intellectually yet being younger and being a BOY...so that was his knee jerk gut reaction.
That will be 5 cents please.
That could be some of it, but it could also be that he's acting out due to the changes that have come about with a new baby sharing your time.