I haven't had to answer yet and I dread it. SugarPlum is almost nine, so I know it is coming soon. Especially, as you pointed out, as it is on the news and everywhere else right now. Even the Christian radio station that we listen to has had stories recently about it.
I'm not sure what I will say to her. I have very strong feelings about it, but don't want her to be judgemental about people as is wont to happen.
It distresses me to even think about this conversation. Now I will probably dream about it tonight as well. *sigh* This parenting gig can be tough.
Wow, Genuine, that is a toughie. We're only up to menstruation at this point, but we started covering inappropriate touching years ago.
This one...I hope to be able to answer my daughter honestly without serving any judgment and coloring her view.
I would probably just speak from my heart, tell her what it means and why some people choose it.
Perhaps I would add some non-clinical terms about risks involved.
Personally I can understand, in certain circumstances, why women choose that road. I do NOT understand the women who use it as their chosen form of birth control.
I will have to give this some thought...
An opinionated comment -
Tell her honestly and passionately what you think and believe. She will most likely know if you aren't being honest with her . Tell her flat out what it is. Answer all her questions openly (non veiled) and bluntly. Tell her what both sides think and believe...
When did we loose our nerve and begin to fear teaching our children to determine what is right and wrong?
Ultimately, any decision she would ever have to make on the topic would be her choice... and you should go out of the way to tell her no matter what choices she makes in life you will love her unconditionally... and so will God.
-end opinionated comment.
I think that with this question, it should work the same as with "Where do babies come from?" type questions. You give them information to the degree of interest that they have, and appropriate for their age. For younger kids like your daughter, a simple answer such as "Sometimes a woman will find out that she is going to have a baby, but she doesn't want to for some reason. So, she can go to a doctor and have a thing done to take the baby out when it's too little to live." or something like that. Your choice of wording would depend in the sensitivity of your kid and your own feelings about the subject. Some kids would be satisfied with that simple answer, and older ones would ask more details. I try to give them what they ask for, and what they need, but not overwhelm them with stuff that's too much.
Personally we have only recently discussed this because there were some protesters outside of a doctor's office with signs. That was a toughie.
I explained what it was and our view on it.
Regardless of what I explain to her, she will develop her own viewpoint on it. I can tell her not to do it until I am blue in the face but she will choose her own beliefs. Unfortunately that's part of being her own individual.
Honesty, of course, is the best way to go. Abortion is a very sad and complicated subject, and she will know if you're not telling her the whole truth. The best thing to do is talk about the facts, what it is exactly, and then move on to how you feel about it. You can tell her that people feel differently, but what she'll need to hear is your personal thoughts and feelings on the subject. Then ask her how she feels after learning about it. Talk about your feelings freely and openly, and this uncomfortable situation could turn into a wonderful bonding experience for the two of you. Good luck!
I didn't read through the comments so that my answer would be straight from my heart.
Abortion is wrong.
The crazy thing is that when you say that women should not have the right to choose they start giving you all these reasons as to why a woman should get to choose. I have heard all the worst case scenarios, how sometimes it might cause the woman to die, how sometimes the fetus is going to be born a vegetable or mentally retarded - in a worst case scenario I could see maybe the need for abortion, but I think 99% of abortions are because someone was too irresponsible to use birth control or some other means of contraception.
I read an article in a magazine the other day about 1 in 5 people having herpes and the statistics keep increasing.
We seem to have no moral standard and so we live like animals succumbing to our every desire and need.
I am not pointing a finger, I am stating a fact. It's sad that so many babies have had to die because it was going to be an inconvenience.
I just tell my kids straight up that it's murder. I'm not afraid that I'm warping them or indoctrinating them or anything like that because they've got other people (like my mother) telling them that abortion is a "woman's right". So they'll hear both sides from all different sources and they'll figure it out from there.
Eddo makes some really valid points.
However...
When I was 24, I became pregnant with my third son and was told that he would probably not survive past the second trimester. JJ had no arms, no legs, and a great gaping hole where most of his brain should have been. He would never walk, talk, converse, be normal.
Yes, I agree with most here, tell GGirl that abortion is a heinous act to those who have a choice, but tell her also the other side of this sometimes necessary procedure: the pain that comes with the knowledge that you have let an unborn child go back to its Maker without knowing the world is sometimes harder than the actual act. I will remember JJ for as long as I live, and I will live with the pain of my decision forever.
That is a tough one.
When my son asked me about it several years ago, we talked about it. He knows from the church we attend that we don't feel it is right for us. But we also don't feel we have any right to push our opinions on others.
We also talked about the fact that we strongly feel that church and state are separate and that people have the freedoom of choice.
We don't have the right to push our opinions on each other as a general rule. Yet, as a society, we believe we have the right to enforce our common belief that murder is wrong.
But for some reason, we get mixed up when it comes to abortion, since we can't see the victims.
It doesn't really have anything to do with religion. It's about science (when life begins) and basic human decency.
Both of which are sadly skewed in our society at this point in time.
i agree with dollymomma that we give them the amount of information that they can handle or are actually looking for at the time.
my son was 10 when he asked. i gave him a more or less technical explanation. when he was a little bit older he asked questions that had more to do with why people were always arguing about "pro-life" or "pro-choice." (he saw election campaign ads)
i don't expect him to believe what i believe, but when he asked what we believed, we told him. i tried to explain that people feel differently about it for different reasons.
he will take from it what he needs or what he is capable of taking from it right now. later on, he may have more questions and hopefully, because we have been honest and open and didn't lecture he will come to us with those questions as well.
i will give him my opinion. he can form his own. but i will not teach him to disrespect others for theirs.
I struggle with my own feelings on this subject. I can't even hazard to offer you advice. All I can say is that, from what I know of you, you are an outstanding father and whatever you end up doing will probably be the right thing for your daughter. Good luck, and let us know what you come up with.
Well...I told my oldest two exactly what it was, and exactly what I felt about it. We actually talked quite extensively about it.
I admit when it came up, it was 100% my fault. We were driving down the freeway and there was a huge display of white crosses with a big sign in the middle that said "Number of abortions every day in this state" or something similar. I read it out loud as I drove past...suddenly from the back seat came "What's an abortion"...