I have been struggling to write this now for 3 months.  I have been cautioned, counseled about its content, prodded for its distribution, and have reached for publish and stopped a number of times.  The tough things in life are never easy, and admitting failure or that you have done something wrong or even just doing the right thing and standing for what is proper can be a rough task.  I try to be the example to those around me and so it is with that in mind that I have decided to make this statement to my friends, my followers, my family and the community that I belong to in hopes that I can move forward.  The community I refer to is inclusive of the men and Dads out there as well as my business contacts, my colleagues and those that I have been fortunate enough to know over the years and grow with over time.  I cannot continue forward with new things until I close out some of the old.

I am passionate and this brought me to being a Daddy blogger and business owner.  It was that passion and interest in the world of blogs and parenting that brought me to BlogHer a number of years ago.  I was sitting next to the pool in California with a few other dads, and we all said that it would be great if we had a conference for us guys to call our own.  We all chuckled then and rolled our eyes and asked who was buying the next round of beers?  Fast forward to early  2010. In February of 2010, I had an initial conversation with one of the organizers and founders of the Modern Media Man Summit.  At the time it did not have a name or a face a logo or anything more than a good idea of the person on the other end of the chat and they wanted to try a new company.  They wanted a conference for men and for dads.  This was after all, “The Year of the Daddy Blogger.”  I agreed to help be a part of what I thought would be a winning idea.

Having worked as the conference director and social media director for BlogWorld and New Media Expo the year before I thought I could provide some much needed expertise as well as some good business contacts and connections that I felt was needed to make the project a success.  It was agreed that we would go forward with the project.  Like in all of my endeavors, I threw my heart and soul into the success of the company and the project was underway.  I set aside most of my other business duties and began concentrating on what needed to be accomplished.    I reached out to some of my most trusted friends and the people I knew would give me some guidance.  They agreed to help and some of them became members to what would become the Advisory Board.  I reached out to another friend who I knew would be good to help with the coordination of speakers and content for the conference portion of the show.  I contacted all of my business contacts to let them know about the new project and that we wanted to give them the opportunity to partner with a great idea.  Some of them jumped at the chance and we signed a few sponsors and companies to being a part of the program early.  Things were progressing nicely and we were on track to making the conference a hit.  The 20 hour days of working by all the founders was paying off.

During the middle of March, 2010 there were differences between myself and another founder, and I decided then that we needed to have someone leading the charge that could be the head of the organization to keep it running in what I thought needed to be its direction.  We were about to sign our first big sponsor and we needed to focus and have a face and a personality of the business.  In my mind we needed a person to make the tough calls and a place where the buck stopped.  Being a man, and a father, I felt right in line with our target market and the best representative of the people we wanted to reach.  I volunteered to be the head of the organization, but indicated then that I needed to be able to run things the way I saw fit on issues of day to day decisions.  If it was going to be my neck on the line I wanted to control my own fate.  It was agreed that I would be the front of the organization for that purpose and business continued as usual representing to all that I was the man in charge.  On March 31, a little more than a month into the project I was told that the legal documents had been filed and that we could begin operating the business as a limited liability company in the State of Georgia.  I was a 1/3rd owner and was told that I was budgeted to receive a guaranteed sum of money for my work.  I began pushing to get contracts entered into and  started working hard to get to a finished product.  My vision of what an awesome conference for men and dads would look like was taking shape.  2 weeks later after what I felt was a grueling work schedule and having been criticized for nearly every decision, I made what would be my last decision on a matter that would be the best direction for the company and the conference.  It was met not with criticism this time but complete resistance.  I decided then that I could no longer lead the charge but that I would do everything in my power to contribute what I could.  Two days later I woke to check email only to find I had been blocked from the company email account locked out of the site and was told that I would not be contacted or spoken to unless I had signed a Nondisclosure Agreement that had contained a restrictive non-compete clause.  I inquired as to why, as an owner, I would be contracting not to disclose information with myself and not to compete with myself?  No response was forthcoming.  I made one final attempt to reconcile with the founders and again it was given complete resistance.  I reached out to a lawyer at that time to get some advice and was told not to sign any such agreements nondisclosure agreements and that any signing of agreements may supersede any previous agreements of the founders.  I then found out that no documents had ever been filed on behalf of the Modern Media Man Summit, LLC.  I was told next I was not to be a part of the organization.

I had brought all of their existing sponsors on board and was in line to speak with four others.  I had made promises, had discussions, made representations and risked much of my reputation, much of my social capital and invested nearly three months of a difficult work schedule.  I sit here 3 months later and look back wondering what has happened.  I see some of the work I have done and work that has not been done.  I continue to get calls from sponsors, from friends, from potential speakers and many that have no idea that I am not somehow still involved.  I only recently found out that the founders have not disclosed any of the above to some key sponsors and other parties.  For that I wanted to get this out in the open. I have not been involved with the organization on any level since May 17, 2010. Any decisions, representations or otherwise have not included me nor have I had any direction in how the company would proceed.  I have not received any  form of compensation for the time spent on this project.  I am not at liberty at this time to discuss my future with the organization, any liabilities I might have or the remedies I have before me, but I want to make it clear my involvement.  The costs have been great not only in the time and energy and effort spent, but in some friendships, some contacts, some reputation and many other intangibles.

I want to apologize to the people that have been harmed by this.  I have tried to reach out to some and offer a personal apology.  I may not know all that has occurred but I can assure you that I am truly and sincerely sorry if there has been a problem.  I can only hope to regain some of what I have lost.  I continue with my vision that we can have an event for Dads and for men.  It may yet prove to be the M3Summit.  It may be other projects and it may be someone that can lead that focus.  I will forge ahead and continue.  If anyone has any questions that I may be able to answer or if you want further information please feel free to contact me.

I always chose being a Super Hero, or in my case Captain Genuine for my kids as their Father.  This is something I ran across and I love the monologue and actually its message.

My congratulations to Bold Ben Ryan for putting this video up and for his message. To help further his message I’ll let him state his organizations here:

To Help Children Around the World In Need:
http://www.unicefusa.com/
Or to help the Real Life Captain America’s Of the World:
http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/
and
http://iava.org/
Thank you so much for watching.

Sincerely,
Ben Ryan

Now if I could just figure out how to get my hands on that shield.

Those of you that are also interested in an organization I helped found and a conference for the Daddy Bloggers and for men, please go and visit the Modern Media Man Summit or what we are calling the M3 Summit.  We have a great team of people that really want to put on a great event for Dads and Men.  The conference is taking place on September 9-11, 2010. Go check it out. Registration is now open for the early birds that want the biggest savings, and we are also asking that speakers that want to present at the event submit their applications.  Like Captain America rallying the troops above, Captain Genuine now is calling all Dads to unite and get ready to assemble!  See you in Atlanta!

Dear Mrs. G,

I am not a person of high finance. I am not a math wiz.  I have never been good with numbers unless of course it was to call a play in the huddle. This is why I would never make an accountant and why many of the jobs I wanted as a kid were squelched as a result.  Math teacher?  Never Happen.

Many Years ago I asked that you be the bookkeeper of this family.  The minute I heard you liked math I knew it was the perfect job for you.  It was perfect for you because it was really a job I hated. I did it because I had to, and not because it was a gift I had.  You took the job and I washed my hands of it.  I turned over the money and you managed it.  Recently, and because I have now taken on a different role in our family, I have been responsible for paying bills.  I must say now.  I am very sorry.  I have been living through your hell for the last 6-8 weeks.  The stress you must have been under all that time while I was out living like a rockstar must have been unbearable.  Yes, I remember your small cries for help but they fell upon deaf ears and a tragic brush off of “it ain’t my responsibility.” I could not be more clear on this, you were a saint to put up with the horror of living the way you were.  Juggling bills, robbing Peter to pay Paul, and coming up with strategies had to be exhausting.  My eyes are seeing things through yours for the first time and I am ashamed I did not help beyond the occasional check to be deposited and the “whatever” attitude I took.

I know that this is little solace to the fact that I have only been doing this a short time and you were doing it 24/7 for the last 10 years, but I am up to the task of slaying this dragon we call our family finances.  I have been to that place you have lived so many years and I never want to have to experience that again.  I am here to take the onslaught of battles we have in the future.  I want to help.  I can’t do it without you.

Your humbled bookkeeper/husband,

Genuine

Sitting in the middle of a conference call with a prospective client talking about how I could do great things for her and her company and the ice cream man jingle is heard in the faint distance, then the roar of a small crowd gathering in the front yard, which then breaks off into a full riot in the foyer of our home. I tried to explain that I was not in the middle of a war zone or that we were being invaded by young people, but all I could say was “please hold we have the ice cream man here”. The call was wrapping up anyway (read as so much for that prospective client) so I headed out to the sidewalk, kids cheering me and my wallet along the way.

It seemed that there were more than just my 4 kids present, and suddenly I realized the $10 in my hand was not nearly going to cover the man selling crack on a stick. He looked at me as he handed me my meager change as if to ask me what I wanted, and realized he had cleaned me out and only had one thing on his menu I could have for the change he gave. He had his jackpot, so I guess he lost interest in me and was looking to the other kids running from the next street over. I’ve suddenly come to hate that jingle.

I have had a long week. It’s only Friday evening and I feel like I have been serving a 20 year hard labor sentence. I have had the first week of no school for the older two kids. They have been here wreaking havoc like the toddlers in spite of how much older they are. I hear that the older the get the bigger the messes or the worse the trouble gets. I’m really looking forward to those teen driving years!

I leave for Orlando on Sunday. I wish I could say we had a really cool vacation planned for Disney World since I’ll be staying about 5 minutes from there, but alas I will be working. That’s really the bad news. The good news is that I will be working at a very posh resort called the Gaylord Palms. I’m wondering if i might tell the kids where I am going and how far I am away from Disney World I’ll actually be, but I figured that I would surprise them with some travel gifts instead. Me being the nasty Daddy I can be will just tell them after the fact that since they are driving me so crazy I decided to take a vacation and tell them where I went.

I wonder how they would take it if I came home with the Mouse Ears hat.

No this is not a lesson in making sure you don’t conceive any children, if I was any good at that, I would not be in the mess we call Genuine parenting today.  Certainly not on the grand scale we are now.  If you are my children reading this we wanted all of you and love you completely, and you can now print this and take it with you on your weekly therapy session.

The 3 year old and 2 year old are all but a full time job, and throw into that being a full time business owner and you can imagine why I joke about having too many kids.  The best part though is the little gems during the day

Genuine Toddler:  I have bad news Dad.

Genuine:  What’s the bad news?

Genuine Toddler:  He [because toddlers never tell on themselves] spilled his Gogurt.

Genuine: Where?  Show me.

Genuine Toddler: [indicating] Right there Dad.  He did that.

Genuine:  Buddy you need to be a little more careful.

Genuine Toddler: [piling on] Yeah, you need to be more careful.

Genuine Baby:  Sowwy.

Genuine:  It’s okay buddy just try to careful please.

Genuine Toddler: [again getting in his shot]  He’s just too little Dad.  When I spill I promise to be careful.

It’s good to know that while he is spilling he will be careful.  In fact now that I think about it that is exactly how I had kids.  Bitter irony.

I have been doing my own self study since becoming a stay at home dad.  After more than a year and a half of this work I have drawn some conclusions, the main conclusion of which is that being a stay at home parent is hard work.

The grass is always greener until you have had a chance to munch on that greener grass for a while.  Then other fences get built and you begin to peer over those fences to see a different shade of green.  I suppose that is what makes life become less stagnant.

I sit here in front of my computer at 4:00 a.m. as I am not only a stay at home dad but I am also a business owner and run a full-time business from home.  As you can see where this is headed, with parenting 24/7 and also worrying about business and being the entrepreneur, I am trying to live both worlds.  At the end of this month, a life changing event takes place.  The life changing event is called “summer vacation.”  I’ll have all four of the kids at home to make my job a little bit harder on all fronts.

How am I going to handle this new challenge?  I have decided to throw out all the child labor laws and put my kids to work.  Genuine Girl will be handling all contracts and accounting issues since I can no longer help with her math homework and she can negotiate with the best.  Genuine Boy will handle all operations as he seems to be able to run many different facets of his Nintendo DS and still watch cartoons at the same time.  Genuine Toddler and Baby (not so much baby anymore) will be in charge of production.  They can tell stories until they are blue in the face so they will be producing all blogging content.

Me?  I think I’ll look over the fence and see what shade the grass is for my next adventure.  I’m thinking of taking up being a pirate.

I wish I was quick on the draw (no pun intended) like some entrepreneurs.  I gotta get me one of these T-shirts!  Speaking of making a buck, does anyone know where I can get one of those cardboard signs that they use to stand on the street corners?  When Mrs. G’s severance package is up in a few weeks, we will probably need it.  I’ll be known as The Genuine Panhandler.