We have been stressing quite a bit lately on how we can make our Christmas the best ever for our kids. We want them to have all the things on their list. Last time I checked there were about 120 items combined on the 4 lists that i am to send to Santa Claus. On the one hand, I am tempted to explain about the story of greed and Christmas, and on the other hand as a parent that wants to give his children everything I want to take out that 4th mortgage to get the list purchased.
Looking back on my own childhood, i loved Christmas. It was my favorite time of the year. Like Ralphie says in A Christmas Story it is the real universe that everything else revolves around. As I began to look back there were a few memorable times at Christmas, but i can’t remember every present or what I got in my stocking or what was in that 10th little box of presents.
My point is that many years from now as your children are stressing about their own parenting at Christmas, they will look back on the time spent and not the things that were bought and under the tree. With that said, I am off to find a way to get that Wii for the kids since I too want to spend some time Christmas morning playing with one of those cool toys!
I have been cleaning out my master bedroom walk-in closet today, something that really has not been done I think since the day we moved into our house quite some time ago, and I have been packing and boxing and throwing things out. As I got to the back corner of the closet and began to work my way forward, I began to notice some little things. Sort of the type of things you would not expect like you would if you had moths or perhaps a mouse problem.
I began to find toys, and especially small Lego’s stashed and stuffed and tuck into shoes, under folded sweaters and even in the pocket of an old suit of mine. I can only assume that we have a new infestation which included a breeding pair of Lego’s. This wasn’t the worst part of the discoveries I had made today however. The worst was a piece of food I can only assume was a partially opened package of string cheese that had been hidden and left in haste. The coup de gras was the diaper I found. Thank the good Lord the diaper was used but not used for number 2. It had been crawled out of and left in the corner. I assuming by the same culprit that had left the now string cheese that could be used as a railroad tie. The problem is I could not identify the culprit as I had no way of knowing how long it had been there. In fact, It could have been the four year old’s diaper for all I know instead of Genuine Baby. It does make me wonder if I have a hobo living inside the closet. So what types of skeletons do you have in your closet. Mine I believe had decided to see if they can acquire squatting rights.
[photo courtesy of Stoker Studios]
Sitting in the middle of a conference call with a prospective client talking about how I could do great things for her and her company and the ice cream man jingle is heard in the faint distance, then the roar of a small crowd gathering in the front yard, which then breaks off into a full riot in the foyer of our home. I tried to explain that I was not in the middle of a war zone or that we were being invaded by young people, but all I could say was “please hold we have the ice cream man here”. The call was wrapping up anyway (read as so much for that prospective client) so I headed out to the sidewalk, kids cheering me and my wallet along the way.
It seemed that there were more than just my 4 kids present, and suddenly I realized the $10 in my hand was not nearly going to cover the man selling crack on a stick. He looked at me as he handed me my meager change as if to ask me what I wanted, and realized he had cleaned me out and only had one thing on his menu I could have for the change he gave. He had his jackpot, so I guess he lost interest in me and was looking to the other kids running from the next street over. I’ve suddenly come to hate that jingle.
No this is not a lesson in making sure you don’t conceive any children, if I was any good at that, I would not be in the mess we call Genuine parenting today. Certainly not on the grand scale we are now. If you are my children reading this we wanted all of you and love you completely, and you can now print this and take it with you on your weekly therapy session.
The 3 year old and 2 year old are all but a full time job, and throw into that being a full time business owner and you can imagine why I joke about having too many kids. The best part though is the little gems during the day
Genuine Toddler: I have bad news Dad.
Genuine: What’s the bad news?
Genuine Toddler: He [because toddlers never tell on themselves] spilled his Gogurt.
Genuine: Where? Show me.
Genuine Toddler: [indicating] Right there Dad. He did that.
Genuine: Buddy you need to be a little more careful.
Genuine Toddler: [piling on] Yeah, you need to be more careful.
Genuine Baby: Sowwy.
Genuine: It’s okay buddy just try to careful please.
Genuine Toddler: [again getting in his shot] He’s just too little Dad. When I spill I promise to be careful.
It’s good to know that while he is spilling he will be careful. In fact now that I think about it that is exactly how I had kids. Bitter irony.
There are many things that make a parent roll their eyes, shrug their shoulders and give the look of “oh well they are after all kids”, and I have those moments usually daily. Those moments sometimes make me chuckle like a 6th grade boy all over again.
Genuine Baby, or I guess he is actually the toddler now and I should change the moniker, has been trying to be potty trained but for whatever reason he kind of lost hope one day and stopped trying to earn our praise. He is currently in the Huggies Pull-ups. Part of the problem is that he is completely obsessed with his “Kachow”, or for those of you that have not seen the movie Cars 45,678 times like I have, the character of Lightning McQueen. He has the Hot Wheels car of Lighting McQueen and he refers to it as his Kachow. He had “The King” but for whatever reason he wanted to see if that car could swim and flushed it down the toilet, but I digress.
He wears the pull-ups and refers to the characters as “My Sally”, “My Kachow”, “My Mater” and well you get the idea. I tried once to tell him that he cannot pee in the pull-ups because he would be peeing on his Kachow but he only looked at me like I was smoking crack. The makers of Huggies Pull-ups make it easy to determine if the child has peed in the pull-up because they have little cups on the front. These cups are made to look like the Piston Cup that is the award in the movie for winning the season, not unlike that of the Cup in the real NASCAR season. The cups on the front will disappear when the diaper becomes wet. I am forever giggling when looking at or thinking of these cups disappearing, not because I enjoy my child not being potty trained but because of the movie quote of Mater (voiced by Larry the Cable Guy):
Lightning McQueen: I’m serious! He’s won three Piston Cups!
Mater: [spits out fuel] He did WHAT in his cup?
Even the three year old is getting into the game as he ran to me this morning and shouted:
Genuine Toddler: Daaaaad, his cups are gone again!!!!
Genuine: What?
Genuine Toddler: His Piston Cups are gone.
Genuine: “He did WHAT in his cup?” [giggle, snort]
See it is the little things that keep us parents going some times. I do suggest that if you don’t have kids or have not yet seen Cars, you run out and see it right away. To the makers of Huggies I love your sense of humor in putting Piston (pissed in) Cups on the front of your diapers.
